IWill 2021-04-06 01:01 - 2 minute read

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Nobody did me a favor by getting their son married to me

Ananta Gupta

1. He can’t go with you to your parents. He needs to be here at his home. 

“Ok here I am expected to change my life for him and on another hand, he needs permission from others to go with his wife”


2. Don’t call him like this. Have some respect 

First of all, I wasn’t disrespecting him. He talks to me in the exact same way. Second, please respect my boundary with him. He is not a young child anymore who needs protection. If he feels, it’s bad, he would tell me and we would talk that out! It’s important there is independence! 


3. Arun is so good. He is responsible, hardworking, earns so well. He had so many women who wanted to marry him. Very good ones. Some were even big doctors and engineers. 

First of al I didn’t understand why we discussed this. Second anyone in the marriage eligibility range would get many interests. If I share mine, the list would be as glorious. The important thing is Arun and I chose each other as we were best for each other! No wonder he is very good, I have chosen him! 


4. Arun will always love his family more than anyone! He has good value system! He has sisters who depend on him, his family, extended. He is responsible! 

Yes, I am his family too. You didn’t mention me so I thought it slipped your mind. The wife is the first family and so is the husband. I hope he takes care of his family too! 

This was me Ananta finally standing up to the humiliation, constant nagging, accusations and feelings that it was a favor that ARUN was “allowed” to be married to me! I had faced loneliness, scare, fear, isolation and hurt for all this time since my marriage!


I felt stifled, choked, and hurt! And I wanted to run and escape from this, from everything! 

I joined IWill therapy last year and it was in therapy that I got my assertion back, the need to create a boundary back, to not let fear hold me from saying the right thing, to not let pain hold me at a spot where I can be treated anyway one needs! 

My husband and I had a love marriage, and eventually joined me in therapy too! He too could see that I was being treated very unfairly just because I was a wife! I was being made to feel completely low and redundant and less!

Assertion, self-confidence, boundaries and my getting over the hurt who others intentionally inflicted on me to break me have changed how I am! I am no longer ok in being treated as though someone did a favor on me, because the fact is they didn’t! 

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