IWill

IWill 2021-04-13 11:18 - 4 minute read

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When a parent wants your marriage to turn in divorce, it’s most painful

IWill user

My marriage was on the verge of divorce! It was a love marriage where I had just desperately wanted to marry the girl I love and here I was regretting every bit of it!

But worse was that it wasn’t my wife who was the problem, it wasn’t her who had turned out bad, I had isolated her and ignored her and been manipulated to believe that I was doing the right thing, that as a wife she was trying to take me away from others, that she was doing it to show her control on me, that she was competitive and that she wanted to separate me from my family!

I was turned into a ignorant, arrogant husband and on top of that, I would blame my wife for crying or asking for love!
 

We were very close but we still had love and so we joined IWill therapy to work out our relationship where I figured out, how wrong I was to my wife! How much I had been manipulated and how I needed to change!


When my wife would expect time from me, I was told that family people are making fun of me, that I had never given my sister or my mother this much time, that I was being taken away from my work by my wife, who was less ambitious and turning me into one too!

I bought that narrative too! She would call me from work early and I would think she is jealous of my career. She wanted to spend time with me and I felt she wanted to waste my time!


When she would insist on spending time alone with her during the day, I would be told how this is her attempt to separate me from others! While in reality she was just trying to be my wife, spend romantic one on one, quality time with me!

When she wanted to take me along to her parents or be respectful of them, everything that her parents said or did, was made to feel like they were stepping over or they were insulting my parents or taking their place! I would get angry and confused as I would believe my parent but in reality, what I was doing, I was being disrespectful to my wife’s need for respect from me, of her parents!

No wonder with me not changing, with her fighting and me reading that as even worse, that she was “quarrelsome” as painted by others, I lost it further!

I am glad I joined therapy! It’s said that it needed therapy at IWill to see how I was pushing my relationship to the brink but what is even more sad and painful for me is to come to terms that due to my parent’s insecurity or jealousy, I was being pushed to divorce! Several times this thought was encouraged!

As I make my relationship with my wife work, as I feel sorry for what I did, I also feel I needed to be a better man!

 

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