IWill 2021-06-15 10:03 - 4 minute read

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Being around people who have double standards is the worst and most damaging

Sush Gupta

Oh, you are unwell, you get scared really fast! It’s not a big deal. You will get better.

Oh my god, my daughter Has been so unwell. I feel bad for her. Poor thing manages everything. Why should she suffer so much?

Even if you were stressed, you should talk politely! It’s important that you stay calm!

She was struggling so much. She said things that normally people say to their loved ones... it happens in families!

You really get worried too quickly. Don't panic!

Oh, she has been through so much. I feel so bad for her. She is so stuck by fear. Poor child. I wished I could ease all her pains!

Your work has not been doing good. You must focus. You have so many loans!

So what she is trying to get back to her career. She will. It’s her husband’s duty to take care. No big deal!

Let me tell you what hurts most is not that people don’t get you, that they don’t empathize with you, that they isolate you! What hurts most is that the same people feel all the same emotions for others, normalize and empathize with people they want to identify with or self! It leaves you humiliated, lonely, feeling less, feeling angry and resentful!

And when you have to live in an environment that does this to you over and over again.

It messes up with your personality, your thoughts, your mental health, and your self-esteem!

I was surrounded by same kind of people. Every day I was blamed for expressing normal human insecurities and hurt!
Every day I was made to feel small for my failures that everyone else went through too!
Every day I was made to feel guilty for being expressive, for trying to be a normal family person!

I joined iwill therapy! I needed someone to tell me that I wasn’t at fault, that I wasn’t imagining. The gaslighting and the blame had made me feel I was wrong with, too many problems!

In therapy, my therapist healed me! She empathized with me, justified my pain, showed me I wasn’t a failure, I wasn’t problematic, I wasn’t less. Things that I wanted to hear and deserved too!

She then helped me get my mental health better. She taught me assertion, taught me relaxation, taught me boundaries, taught me to let go of others’ behavior and its impact on me! My therapist taught me, respecting myself, standing for myself, doing things that I needed to, stopping people who behaved with me in whichever they wanted to!  

She helped me manage my triggers, my assumptions! I didn’t need their love to feel
Happy! I needed to stop the abuse! I needed to speak up, take care of myself! That’s what I did!

My therapist at iwill became my support system! She helped me come out of this mess! Feel happier even when living with people who make you feel totally unequal and undeserving!

Worst pain it is! But my experience tells, we can and must come out of it! Thanks iwill for being with me! And I am glad I could assert, stand up for myself and stop expecting from those people, who are bound to be bad to me!

For IWILL THERAPY SESSIONS, YOU dont have to go anywhere. IWill therapy is available online and sessions happen on call/chat or video. You just have to Download IWill app for ANDROID, book and start today::  https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.epsyclinic.iwill For ios : https://apps.apple.com/in/app/iwill-your-support-system/id1520039748

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