IWill 2021-06-15 10:02 - 4 minute read

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I and my wife realized that divorce would have been our worst mistake

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She cannot adjust with my family!
He cannot love me like a family!

This was the crux of the reason we were thinking of getting divorced!


Ironically ours was a love marriage, we had loved each other with some craze, we had craved to be with each other.

We had a passion and that longing in us to be with each other!

Then what went so wrong? How did it become about families! How did it become about no bond between us! We too didn’t have the answers to this!

Ironically we found these answers in therapy!

Iwill was recommended to us by my colleague and I thought this as a wasted last resort!

But in therapy, we could see that our entire premise of leaving each other was based on series of misunderstandings, not speaking to each other but listening to everyone else!

Ever since we married, everyone around me convinced me she is not able to fit in the family. And the more I said this to her, the more she felt alienated and confused as to why was I wanted her to be good with my family, without being first there for her!

We both had forgotten, more some, that she was here first for me!

Her being there was not so that others like her but it was first there so that I love her and she loves me! That we fulfill, spend time, look and be with each other something that we have always craved for!

For my parents to like her, for me to have an ideal family, I let go of the ideal relationship we could have! And she too misunderstood me, judged me basis what others said! She spoke to me rudely,  things in anger that made me be convinced of what everyone else was saying! And my distance confirmed her fears!

We were letting our distance grow for others, even though they were ours, they were not us!

Therapy at IWill helped us take and go back to the first step!

Where are we getting stuck! Why are we judging each other, of loving each other, letting go of the dream, of love we had for each other!

I wasn't supposed to ignore my wife for others, I was supposed to love and be there for her, for her! 

I wasn't supposed to leave her if she is not liked by others, rather I had to stand by her 

We both saw we had no differences, only we were reacting to insecurities created by others. We realised this was our worst mistake! 

And we became closer and changed the pain forever

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