IWill

IWill 2021-07-12 12:21 - 4 minute read

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As a wife I won’t keep adjusting to please I laws while breaking my self completely

IWill user

Don’t laugh too hard. You are a daughter-in-law. 

Wear only sarees. We don’t want our daughter in law in jeans. 

Talk to your husband with respect. 

Don’t ask him to say sorry to you. He is a man. 

Women in our family while very educated keep careers secondary! Their prime role is to be a wife!

You shouldn’t be always wanting time with your husband. He has duties and dedication to his family too! 

Oh I don’t even want my husband to love me more, he should take care of his parents first (my sister in law telling me how she is better than Avery one else) 

 

This was an everyday routine after marriage for me. Listening consistently as to how my life shouldn’t be mine anymore. I should have no ambitions. Everyone should have expectations from me while I should have no expectations from anyone in this home! I should be here to serve, be educated and yet completely like a slave... that was what I needed to be...

And this was so different than the way I had been brought up or how I thought about myself . 

 

My laughter used to be a good thing! 

My free spiritedness was appreciated! 

My career and my ambitions were celebrated by my parents, people who taught me and looked to me to rise! 

I was encouraged to feel worthy, to deserve love and attention! 

 

I was broken! I felt worthless! Everything that made me think good about me was now shown to be as the worst quality... 

 

I was lost. Lonely. Angry. Agitated. Stuck. Unsure. Scared. Empty. 

 

I joined IWill therapy on my best friend’s insistence! 

 

It was in therapy that I could see, I didn’t have to break myself to make anyone happy. 

I had the right to be. 

People will always want to mould me to suit their agendas at home, at work, in life! I had to be strong, not as naive, I had to keep my assertive side too. I had to laugh, not be bullied, not be shy of asking for love that I deserve! 

 

Just because I got married, didn’t mean I lost myself... someone saw me as an individual after long time! 

 

I started asserting... 

 

I would say I would laugh because I deserve happiness. Marriage shouldn’t change that right?

I now work hard on my job and don’t let others opinions lower my sense of ambition. 

I now don’t let other’s insecurity or lack of space for me and bullying break my life... 

 

I am thankful to iwill that I am free from depression and from the need to please others at the cost of my emotional and mental health... 

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