I wished I would have never met you. I would have never suffered so much pain.
I am out of the toxicity now.
I am rebuilding my life after once losing it almost completely
I am trying to stand up for myself, having been once thrown at the ground!
I am trying to love myself, after a phase where I had just anger for self
I am trusting myself, after a long time of self-doubt.
I am holding myself, after a long time of being broken by you..
Yes I am better after depression. Yes I have finally started my new life with many old scars again. Yes I am trying to fill in the trauma everyday with the help of Iwill therpay and yes it’s working...
but nothing can change the fact that I didn’t deserve what I went through.. that this trauma I got, was not for me...
That falling in love with you was my mistake...
That they way you treated me was got the hurt in the first place...
I was never so deprived of love.. as you deprived me of, while promising love and affection!
I was isolated when I was asked to come with you, with a promise of togetherness
Your loved ones mattered to you. While my loved ones were all bad and never enough... and I was suddenly an outsider!
I was made to cry, beg for love, asked to bend so that you feel I am worth you, I was just an entertainment piece to be activated when you wanted and to be left alone when no need.
You treated like I had no self-worth! You treated me like only I needed you and I was forcing myself on you! You treated me like I had no individuality... I was supposedly born to please you, people around you...
I got so much hurt because of this!
I experienced toxicity!
I experienced discrimination!
I experience isolation!
And it broke me.. I had lost my smile.. my will to live as I had just loved you with all my heart and placed my life’s happiness in you..
I was a happy-go-lucky person who became. A crying mess
I was a pampered person who became ignored and begging and longing for attention, love, and security !!!
I am getting out of depression! And I am glad I don’t need to beg you anymore.. I am glad you have found that I can survive without you, but I cannot deny that it would have been the best if I had never met you... I wouldn’t have ever known all these hurt and pain that you got me...