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IWill 2021-08-20 01:39 - 8 minute read

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A narcissist will do things that make them happy at cost of others

IWill user

A person suffering from narcissistic personality disorder sees themselves as the reason why others exist/or should exist.  And they cause a lot of damage.

Here are the 5 shockingly common tactics narcissist use to bring control and have power over others!

 

Triangulation 

They need power over you and until and unless they don’t feed into you, insecurity and make you feel like you need to go over and above or compete for their attention, they don’t stop.

Hence they use “triangulation”. They always make someone better than you.

Narcissistic parents often have a “golden child” and a “scapegoat”. They make one child feel like they are the best, shower them with praises, give them attention while the scapegoat is made to feel like they are not doing enough, not enough revering or respecting. What this leads to is that scapegoat, poor scapegoat for attention and love, goes above and beyond ignoring sometimes even themselves to please the parent. Holden child also needs to hold the spot hence they go above and beyond too. The interesting and worrying thing is these positions are not fixed. Narcissist parent can make the golden child suddenly the scapegoat when he/she does any small thing that has their disapproval and manipulates them.

The scapegoat-turned golden child will go the extra mile to retain that position! This pattern destroys the self of the children and their relationships and keeps them enmeshed in toxic dynamics! In relationships, triangulation could be done by bringing another person as a “friend” or someone close to make insecure and cause hurt and damage and narcissistic wished behaviors! 

 

Sudden narcissistic rage 

Narcissistic can get very angry. Narcissists can suddenly stop talking, ignore, give the silent treatment or yell, lash, get angry or even sometimes get physically abusive on seemingly small issues and sometimes no issue. This drama is to shock, the rage is to seek control... the more someone witnesses such shocking reactions and consequences on small issues, the more they are in future to remember this and not do slightest of thing that can go against the narcissist! This keeps the narcissist in control and at top of the person! 

The narcissist may also do this to attract attention, make you plead, or bend for no reason! 

 

Guilt Tripping Intentional 

If someone always tells you all that they have done for you, while you haven’t done enough. If they first give things to you and then go overboard in letting you know that “you owe” them all this. If they make you constantly feel that you haven’t done enough, that X and y does this and that, in order to manipulate you and make you feel miserable and get you to sacrifice more, ignore your genuine needs then this is guilt-tripping behavior and it’s very very commonly done by narcissists! 

 

Gaslighting 

I never said that (even when they would have said it)

I never did that (even when they did it)

Oh you are being too sensitive, so selfish (delegitimize and trivializing your emotions and confusing you whether your reactions are genuine or overboard) 

You really didn’t know this? Not even this? And you are like MBA? (Trivialising your talent to make you insecure and self-conscious). Gaslighting is done to make you mistrust your memory, your thoughts, your emotions! This is how it becomes easier for them to finally slowly make you believe what they want you to believe about yourself and control you! 

 

Never really praising you! 

There is always something incomplete in you. You are good but someone is better! You are ok but not enough. 

Showing you exaggerated disappointments when you miss something and devaluing your wins! Or trying to show how your win is attributed to them! 

This is done to never help a good sense of self develop in you and also their insecurity that they can’t feel happy for others. 

 

These 5 common behaviors of a narcissist completely destroy normal functionality 

1. You are bound by a Sense of duty that is false and is at your expense 

2. You ignore and break your relationships 

3. You are never happy with yourself 

4. Your growth, aspirations, and career is limited 

5. Your emotional fulfillment is compromised 

6 your sense of wrong vs right is poorly developed 

7 you blame yourself or the wrong person even when you are mentally exhausted! 

 

If you are facing this abuse, seek therapy today. Narcissist homes are extremely toxic, dysfunctional filled with guilt, constant pulling back in the dumps, abuse, and unhappiness! Therapy, therefore, becomes a must to be aware that you are stuck in a rut! Secondly, therapy helps to consolidate and learn to accept it without being guilt-tripped again! You also need therapy to practice boundaries, fight and counter gaslighting, and while doing all of this, rebuild your healthy relationships with others and with yourself! All this needs a lot of healing and therapy is designed to help you just with difficult toxic patterns and people and issues of your own mind developed over time!

Sabe your years! You are protecting yourself, not going away or punishing or being “wrong” with the narcissist! The distinction needs to be clear

For IWill therapy, start sessions through this app link: https://epsyclinic.page.link/ezHe

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