A mama's boy can hurt you to show he cares for his mother

Shivali Sharma

I will only go with you, Mom. Never feel like I have changed. He said this when he canceled the trip planned with me that I was preparing for the last 15 days.

Of course, I will never put anyone above you, no one can even come close, he said when his mother had been behaving strangely with me, where I was being isolated and lonely, he kept taking her side when she blamed my presence for her bad mood.

He left with his friends when my family was about to come, to show his mother he didn't care much for my parents, he arrived late and only spoke to them a little while still keeping over affection for his mom. 

He would not talk to me in her presence. Later he would talk and show love but then blame me for asking him why he ignored me earlier, saying  I always wanted to pick up a fight and I always wanted to put differences in him and his mother when it was opposite.

It was strange but I felt like the other woman in this home, where I was just to witness how strong his bond was with his mother

My needs, my love, he could ignore anything just to show his mom he cares for her.

They had plans, relatives and I felt alien as they would always talk but never make me a part. My life and plans were not interesting to them at all! 

His mother would constantly make him ignore me and to please her. He would do that! 

I was broken because well this was a love marriage.

Yes in college he would talk about he loved his mother but that was Great. We all love our parents but I never thought, it would become a ring match where he would break my emotions over and over again to show his mom he loves her and that he would tolerate such toxicity towards me and worse become a part of it.

He had a lot of attention on me in college, he would shower me with love all the time and hence it was so unusual what he was doing in front of his mom.

I was broken
I was depressed.
I felt like stuck in a marriage where I would be competing with a wrong role for my husband and where my husband would never stand up for me , and continue to ignore me to please someone who was controlling! 

I joined IWill therapy desperately as soon as I got to know about the platform 

Therapy at IWill changed my life completely.

First, the therapist helped me see that even my husband was struggling because he was facing these control dynamics since childhood probably and therefore he feels the need to continue them to avoid any emotional deprivation or anger he may have faced as a child of which he is still scared of !

She helped me not see it as being a mark of his love for me or my ability to get love and more see this as a faulty pattern.

She helped me calm my emotions and focus on my career. She helped me starting things that made me happy and then without confrontation 
Convince my husband to start iwill therapy 

In IWill therapy she through role play and even experiments helped him see, how would it feel if even for one day, at my home, he came and if I constantly praised my dad, ignored him, and cancelled his plans, how would it feel 

She helped us relive some of the times we shared in college and helped him realise that these should have increased, these moments of love had to be more, not less! 

She also in individual sessions with him uncovered that infact he was scared to not be enough for his mother, basis childhood issues and traumas and realised that while he needed to love her, he also needed to stand up for what was right, to not be controlled by wrong fears. 

She also helped him see the real scars every day this isolation, this denial of a husband and wife relationship had on me !

He changed so much with couple Therapy! 

He now never cancels my plans!
He never listens to a word bad for me! 
He doesn't prove his love for mom, by ignoring me
I am his morning companion, his laughter and he protects our bond! 

I have found my husband back and he has found himself
Loving parents doesn't mean leaving your partner alone !

Shivali Sharma

Seek therapy at IWill if you could relate to signs shared. You don't have to go anywhere just book sessions recommended to you and invest in your peace, happiness and inner healing