IWill 2021-07-09 08:46 - 2 minute read

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A man shouldn’t listen to his mother or anyone when it comes to his wife.

iWill user

She is not going to fit in our home.
She was rude to me.
She doesn’t respect you.
She doesn’t care for you... she is only concerned about her pleasure.
She is immature.
She won’t like that you give me importance now.
You should not talk to her so much. You look like a weak man and you should keep her in control.

This and more was constantly told to ek about my wife... I loved her a lot. We had a love marriage and her opinionated ways, her sense of style, her ways were all pleasing to me.. she would cutely dominate me and I used to like that..

But all of this changed once we got married.. my mom wasn’t a particular fan of my wife.. and slowly I started seeing my wife from her lens too...

Her cuteness now looked like being stupid
Her sweet dominance looked like a way to control my life...

I started feeling like I was being manipulated by my wife... she was being unfair to me.. I started growing distant to her... stopped giving her time, listening to her talks and even had fights with her...

The happiness in life was gone... and I would blame her for it... I felt empty too. But didn’t know how to fix it. How to go back to a happy life without being “exploited” by her..

We joined iwill therapy on a friend’s recommendation. And it was here that slowly as a couple we understood the core problem... my wife and I were meant to be with each other...
My mom who had a relationship just with me could have been insecure, unsure and thus dynamic is common in families.. what was wrong on my part was to allow that insecurity to dominate and cloud how I should have looked at my relationship and shaped it...

What was so beautiful was the uniqueness of our relationship. There was no exploitation because I didn’t feel it.. earlier... it was pure love... the time spent with her was magical and she was my wife, I had and she had every right to cherish each other...

Your relationship with your spouse is independent... it can’t be dominated or viewed by someone elses’s lens... your mother have been closest to you or your father as a woman but place of your spouse now is the closest and only you two can decide and should decide how the relationship and it’s dynamics should be...


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