IWill

IWill 2022-07-23 03:15 - 2 minute read

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As a son, I request you to not bully me for loving my wife 

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As a son, I write this letter.

I see my parents having a great relationship with each other.

I see that my sister and my brother-in-law are encouraged to spend time together, my sister should get the love, my brother-in-law is so good that he takes care of us.

I see that you watch these serials and feel bad for the bahu, of how weak her husband is for not standing up, and how bad the family is for not accepting her.

 

I see it all and feel good that everyone knows the right thing.

But then I see myself, my marriage on the rocks, me and my wife in couple therapy, she being in depression and I being in exhaustion. And I wonder, am I the exception, is the exception?

Is this the reason why everyone has happy daughters but not sons and daughters-in-law?

Ever since I was married, 

I was bullied if I can use the word.

If I gave my wife time, I would get remarks same day, cold treatment same day of how I had forgotten others and i would immediately out of fear of nor hurting my family take that time away from wife.

 

When I would go to her home, I would be told that i was becoming more of her family. That I had let down others.

When I was happy for her career, I was told I was now weak and wanting his wife to succeed more

I was called joru ka ghulam, not a good son. I was told that I had let my family down just for loving my wife.

And I stopped. To keep peace at home, and to be functional, I stopped being a husband, but it impacted me and my wife. We have come back from the verge of losing ourselves forever and thanks to therapy, we resolved the problems.

I just thought of writing this open letter to ask, why as the son we bully him for abandoning his wife but we want daughters to have best husbands.

Why as mothers we want control over the home but stop another woman leaving her home from having any say?

I beg for the bullying and hypocrisy to stop. I beg for this pain to end. I can't take it anymore. I want to love my wife and my family, 

Don't force me to make a choice. Don't force me into depression and loneliness.

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