IWill

IWill 2021-08-26 11:38 - 4 minute read

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As emotional & sensitive person, I was hurt intentionally by toxic people

IWill blogs

I am the kind of person who will never speak a rude word to you, 

 

who will never attack you pointing your mistakes!

Who will always hug you, be kind to you when you need me

Who would love a lot... 

I would never give you cold gestures as I know what they look like and can hurt you 

I would feel very bad for other’s problems 

 

And being a sensitive person I also expect similar things from people in life...

It’s part of being the sensitive individual I am..

 

Everything in my life was good. My sensitive side wasn’t hurting me...

But then I met with a few toxic people. 

They were insecure about me, and not happy since they didn’t like how someone close to them liked me a lot... 

I don’t know what, but guess my sensitive side was visible to them... 

 

They would give me cold vibes...

They would always compare me to others and attack me on things that were my weakness..

They would comment on my appearance, my likes and dislikes!

They would leave me alone when I would be in a bad mood and show that they ignore my problems! 

They would hurt me by small gestures, not speaking to me like a family member, treating me as secondary! 

They would often also not talk to me in common conversations! I would be cut off, not spoken about and plainly avoided! 

They would know when I missed something like promotion and they would talk over and over about it to hurt me!

They would know if I would be upset with something and they would remind me this all the time 

They would also tell me how my loved one doesn’t care for anyone more than them and would also manipulate them to spend less time with me... 

 

I was shattered... I started breaking inside. The insult, the humiliation would make me cry all day.. and they would know this and isolate me more... 

More than them, I was stuck due to this sensitive self, of getting so hurt by random people, of judging myself basis their words, of not speaking anything to them because I couldn’t be rude....

I was experiencing such high-intensity emotional pain that I even started considering suicide ... 

I joined iwill therapy... and it was in therapy that I learnt how to manage myself.. therapy helped me get stronger, I started speaking for myself, asserting, learning to disconnect from people who want to hurt you, learning to not give them power like this... learning to not let them make me feel bad by being toxic!

It wasn’t like therapy changed me. I am still a sensitive person, but I have learnt to be this for people who deserve it!

I give them back when they attack me of course repeatedly! 

I don’t take their behaviours seriously. I don’t even depend on them for validation.

I don’t let them dominate my life... 

it’s been 4 months straight they have been unable to hurt me even once and I feel very good about it!

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