IWill

IWill 2022-05-14 12:00 - 4 minute read

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Being lonely even when you have a family is the worst pain  I have been through

IWill user


What does loneliness feel like?

Constant thoughts that no one cares for you
Constant feelings of pain, sadness, frustration and hollowness
Breaking inside because people around you seem to not care.
Not being a part of things that were happening...
Always feeling like I stay in a place where people have no connection to me, they don’t feel bad when I am unwell, they don’t think about my well-being and they don’t care if I was there or not...

Why was I feeling it?


This was the first time I felt lonely...
And I had reasons
I wasn’t a part of the group.
I was the last person to who my loved one talk.
If I was unwell, the care was so superficial and people just got busy with their day and many times even forget till many hours that I was unwell.
No plan involved me. I was there but not a part of anything core.
I was also always trying to make others feel like I was a part, taking when they were not listening to me, trying to share my stories where they expected to only talk about their childhood, their things .

*The whole home felt so alien. It was like I was there to live other people’s lives...
*

What did I do then?
I was the saddest I had ever been.
I felt empty. I wanted to not live.
I wanted to escape but the hurt of being not loved and not getting the affection from those whose love I should have had broken me...
I would just cry.
People would blame me for being negative. And they refused to see my pain...

Healing myself & Shocking Them

One day when I was sitting alone and I was crying, I talked to myself, who were these people for who I was destroying myself, why was I not eating, crying when no one else cared for me, when their noises of laughter were coming!

I joined IWill therapy... I knew I had been through toxicity... I was breaking, insecure inside and I needed healing...

The therapist at IWill helped me with three things.
She helped me see the good in me, my self-esteem that was broken due to the ignorance I had gotten from these people. She helped me see from my own perspective. I was lovable, intelligent, had spark in me, and had potential and nothing took that away.

*Second thing she helped me with was to listen to me and undo all my trauma! She helped me heal from within, understand the reasons behind people’s behavior and make peace with it!

Through therapy, I started being a part of my social circle again, friends and family, and things I loved

I started focusing on my career and this really helped me so much, it helped me gain the confidence that I wasn’t alone...

I would laugh
I would work
I would put myself first
I wouldn’t even sit in a group that had excluded me!
I wouldn’t feel bad for being uninvited in their useless arrangements!

I had filled myself with my life, no more loneliness.

The power of being fulfilled, being complete was with me and everyone was shocked..: they were indeed jealous if I can say that and I love to see how those who wanted to put me down, today struggle in their hearts with my happiness and success, the best response for all the hurt!
 

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