IWill

IWill 2021-04-08 01:01 - 2 minute read

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Better be alone than being in an isolated marriage

IWill user

I am leaving with my friends for a trip. 

And what will I do. Last week too you went to your parents. Please stay home this week!

No, I am too stressed and everyone is married and they are all going! Their wives aren't creating an issue. Why are you! 

 

I am very upset these days.. I feel really lonely... 

Everyone has issues. Namrata but you have a habit of just being sad! I too had a bad day... please let me be!

 

The next day he was talking for 2 hours with his family, doing everything for them, spending time, laughing, and sharing their emotions!

This wasn’t just this week or this time! It has been the same ever since I got married to him! I have been isolated from day one of our marriage! He looked very happy marrying me! We used to talk a lot! But after marriage, I saw an empty life... my place remained the same in life as a phone friend and slowly deteriorated! 

His family too wanted him to ill-treat me, ignore me to boost their ego!

I was scared of moving out. What would I do as a woman alone! What would I do without a husband! I would be a failure! I would be unloved and alone!

I joined Iwill therapy to ease my pain... and as I eased my pain, looked at what my strength was, how love is give and take, how I didn’t have to be scared of leaving a marriage where I was isolated already... at least accepting this and then looking at what I wanted to do, allowed me to think of a way in which I could still bring happiness in my life! 

 

I could hear my inner voice! 

 

I could see that the fear of being alone was far less harming than depression of being in a marriage where I am isolated, a furniture, emotionally unneeded!

I could see that the uncertainty of what next as Namrata was better than the certainty of not needed, invisible, Namrata! 

I could see that pain of starting my life again was much less than ending any possibility of life for me!

I decided to part ways and set myself alone and chose my self respect! Chose my future happiness, my ability to expect love and be valued! I am glad to be out of this toxic one-sided prison-like marriage! We can do better as society for our women. 

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