IWill

IWill 2021-09-23 03:22 - 2 minute read

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Caring for wife doesn't mean the son has changed for BAD! 

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My husband was constantly targeted and attacked for taking care of me or having time that was divided.

Things like,  "He wasn't like this before marriage, he has changed now"

"He used to care for everyone, marriage changed him"

"All sons change"

 

And so on...

 

This was constantly said to the point he started getting ignorant towards me, he started neglecting me, He thought giving me his time was against his family. 

Everyone would constantly attack him for doing basics for me... And even taunt me...

 

I was feeling something was off but yet due to the society we live in, I couldn't say much. 

Slowly I was isolated... This when my whole world had changed... 

 

I felt so ignored. I was depressed. I was sorry for my life.

I would regret marrying. I would regret being in this home. I would self-doubt too. I would think internally maybe I am selfish... maybe my expectations are wrong... I had never been this confused.

 

My husband and I joined iWill therapy... 

My husband here confessed that he wanted to take care of me, but he didn't want to "Change" for others...

Through many sessions, the therapist helped him see this

 

What is change?

If you have married a person, she has come into your home, life is now in partnership, change has happened!

She is expected to change at every step. To prioritize you and a life with you. But this can't be one-sided! 

This cant be used against you!

You will have to give your wife time too now. She would need care.

Developing empathy for a new person in life is a change, yes of course but it's a good one... It's a needed one.

Ignoring someone's daughter or your wife while her world has changed is a toxic change rather!

We need to work and correct our assumptions even if they are problematic as a whole society!

You two should stand with each other, it's a change that everyone should accept as long as this change is not deliberately insulting someone, which it is not!

Through IWill therapy sessions, my husband could see how ignoring me, for anyone's words or hurt was not solving the problem. I was his wife... I loved him the most and was expected to revolve my life around him.. 

Thanks to iwilll therapist who helped us find each other...

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