IWill

IWill 2021-08-18 10:32 - 6 minute read

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Constantly Feeling less or inferior to others is damaging for mental health

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Sometimes in life, people feel they are just not good enough! They feel they are less than everyone around... they feel everyone is better off, or better positioned to win in life.
This is when we say someone feels less than others... and it’s damaging for a person’s self-esteem, their mental health...

Let’s try and understand what this looks like.

Signs you feel less than others
1. You feel Inadequate when compared to others: when you feel someone is better at work than you, they have a better personality, better luck and you generally have started feeling this way for most people or many people in life’s
2. You feel pained seeing other people’s success and feel you may be won’t get there: When you feel very scared or uncomfortable with someone’s success around..’ more than jealousy if this is due to feelings that you can’t reach there, and that feeling of hollowness and shame on self.
3: You overestimate others: whether you are working or in your personal life if you always overestimate other people around you, and internally you don’t feel confident and constantly have thoughts around how you are less.
4. Finding Faults in self:  your thoughts are always about finding faults in you. You can’t see how you are good. You keep thinking others would be more loved, or others would win, or lead because they have what you don’t, if you compare many aspects of yourself to them and try and always rank yourself lower due to this inherent bias! 

Key Reasons why someone develops an inferiority complex

1. Childhood parenting style and trauma: sometimes children are mercilessly compared to others. Or they receive passive neglect. Where the parent either appreciates their sibling more or also doesn’t appreciate the child more, doesn't help them feel secure in themselves. Childhood impressions are the most lasting and have the deepest impact in creating a complex that one is inferior. 

2. Comparison: constant comparisons of a person with others on specific incidents even as grown-ups, can break their inner confidence and force them to see themselves in a negative light and can damage a lower perception of self not just limited to that comparison context but overall. 

3. Bullying & intentional damage: when a child or even a grown-up faces abuse, intentional mockery or is subjected to negative experiences, the person internalizes their weakness of not being able to see them and over time develop a lack of confidence or respect for self... this then permeates in most/every instance of life.

4. Self-perception: Due to tough life situations, traumas, a person themselves starts thinking they are not good enough. They start lowering their worth in their eyes. They repeatedly think they can’t do things, or that they can’t be successful. Over time this develops in an automatic inferiority complex and negative perception of self! 

5. Constant reminders by someone: there are people around in some people’s life who want to convince you that you are not good enough. So they don’t leave any situation without reminding a person of how they are less than this or that. This behavior and inability to stop it and having to tolerate it can develop an inferiority complex in a person! 

How is inferiority complex damaging?

1. Demotivated : it makes a person demotivated to take action as they don’t believe in themselves. This single factor damages a lot of aspects of a person’s life as overtime they stop trying. 

2. Lack of confidence : someone with inferiority complex suffers from chronic lack of confidence and its a voice that’s internal and that hampers everything for them
3. Lack of happiness: if one doesn’t feel enough, one cannot feel good. Inability to see self in a strong image , creates chronic unhappiness within a person.
4. Depression due to lack of self worth : not being able to perform well, always feeling less and inadequate, always feeling like not being enough, can cause a person to even develop depression. Lack of self worth is a common result. The constant comparison with others and putting self always less can break anyone internally! 

How to get past this chronic inferiority complex
Therapy
In IWill therapy, the first step is identifying where has this inferiority complex come from and what has made it stay. The therapist will even go back to childhood days in discussions and listenings with the individual and help him/or her challenge those assumptions; make sense of those experiences, understanding, and healing of childhood neglect, biases that may have crystallized these self reducing beliefs in oneself! 

Next is to help them see the good in them, the side of being enough, of being able to be shaped up further and working on self, that they are ignoring! 

Helping set boundaries with people who are attacking, asserting and making you feel less is the next step.

One needs to feel confident about self, about their abilities and secure no matter who they are with and competent. 

Inferiority Complex takes this away! But the great thing is you can identify and change this once and for all, work on it, and get freedom from a pattern that is damaging you
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