IWill 2021-09-16 08:34 - 2 minute read

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Dear husband, continue ignoring & treating me unimportant. I Don’t care NOW!

IWill blogs

I cried a lot. I always tried to give you all the attention. I tried to just see you and be with you and do nothing else. I forgot about my needs and my existence, just to please you...

But you continued to ignore me... you continued to hesitate to love me because others felt bad if you gave me attention.

You never spoke to me as a husband does to a wife. You always tried to balance not recognizing that in this home, in this new setting, I only had you!

When others remarked on me, made me feel awkward, remarked on my work, asked me to do rituals that made me feel less as a person, as a woman, you didn’t react or interfere...

I cried. I tortured myself not eating, not working, only begging you to take notice of how was important to you too. How what you were doing comes under abuse, comes under ignorance, comes under breaking someone mentally, emotionally! Depriving her of love she is used to! Respect she thinks she has...

You abandoned me... I was broken... I joined IWill therapy, I wanted to even not live...

But it was in IWill therapy that step by step, 

I got the courage to not judge my worth basis your treatment! Basis someone who is so brainwashed that he is ignoring his own spouse, he doesn’t know the meaning of what a partner needs to be!

It was here that I learned my worth... I needed to not torture myself. I needed to stand up for myself and say no to things I didn’t like. I needed to have boundaries and I had the right to them.

I had the right to my career and I had to work hard in these tough times itself to change all the pain, to change my destiny!

The therapist helped me seek support from other loved ones, not be alone! Not just be so lonely... not to make my husband’s attention as a measure of my self-worth!

I started a job. I would hardly be crying... I would not wait for him to talk to me... I would do things for myself, with other people my friends and family who loved me! I started focussing on my growth... if he would not be a part of my plan, I would just go ahead of myself!

He was shocked to see changes in me... he would ask me if I was upset with him.. or how “self-driven” I was... how ironic these words coming from someone who ignored me all this while and was ok in me breaking myself each day...

No longer am I so weak that I can’t see my life beyond you. Dear husband, wife is to be loved, not to be judged! Wife is to spend time with, not to be isolated!
I am not going to judge myself since you are a bad husband! I deserve better

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