IWill 2021-08-19 08:53 - 4 minute read

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Dear husband you are manipulated against me. But I won’t tolerate anymore

IWill user

You again said no to my mother?

Yes Arun, because I said yes to myself...I don’t want to attend a function where everyone will be ready to criticize me, taunt me... I don’t want to be saying yes to my abuse.. they ignore me. Only taunt me, don’t talk to me in a good way, make me feel odd! And for no one, will I tolerate this behavior anymore! My mental health is more important

If you want me to say yes to mummy, ensure that things are better there first..: ensure my respect, ensure that I am treated the way I want... and if you can’t do any of it... then don’t be referee here!! Don’t take sides! I will not tolerate it!!

Why did you plan this trip just with me? Do you want me to leave my family alone?

Why do you go to business trips alone? You want to leave your parents alone? And that Goa all-boys trip? Was your family a part?

You can come and say illogical things but I will not let you accuse me or guilt trip me illogically!

I will cancel this trip! This is not the only happiness in my life... but I will not let you treat me in this way..: and attack or only make me feel bad.. you are my husband and I guess that’s the only relationship of romance and love, last time I checked!!

Why are you always against my family?

How am I against them, if I speak for my happiness... they are not liking me... they want me to change everything that makes me happy, make me leave everything that I like? Why do they want to see me unhappy? And if stand up for that, I am standing against wrong, not against your family... please don’t play with my boundaries here... I don’t want anyone to change how they feel or be? No one has the right to make me feel secondary!

Don’t even think you can take anyone’s place in my life?

And yet you want yourself to relax everyone in my life! Don’t even think I will stop meeting my friends or being there for my parents... it goes both ways... and if you just gave me the place of wife,

If you were not blinded enough to understand that your wife’s place is closest, if you were not rude, and knew that I am here for you, that your time for me is essential not waste, I would have not been in so much pain...

But it’s ok...

I know my worth now... I will stand up for it... I will not cry and break myself in wait of you coming out of this manipulation! I will not wait and empty myself and destroy my life...
I am enough! And I will not TOLERATE abuse anymore!

This was me Shalini and I am so much better now! My life was a mess 7 months ago... things haven’t changed much... my husband still is manipulated and controlled by people around... but I have changed... not a depressed person!!

I started iwill therapy sessions when I was totally broken and low... but it helped me change my behavior, the meek, crying mess I was, the always victim with no strength and bitter and upset, I needed to change that, to be in control... therapy helped me manage my depression, fight the regular trauma and focus on things that could make me happy, people who loved me and then work on self... be assertive and open, therapy helped me even find my lost self... today I have a job, an opinion, some strength and no longer will I tolerate because someone manipulates! I am better than this and deserve happiness.  

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