IWill

IWill 2022-01-03 12:38 - 4 minute read

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Dear inlaws please stop expecting things you would never want your daughter to do 

ShrutI Aggarwal

When you ask me to now consider this home as my home only and not be attached to my parents...

Can you do the same thing for your daughter? If she doesn't come or doesn't talk to you, you feel instantly bad... Why should the rules be different for me?

 

You don't want me to share any pain, issues I may have with my family and respect the boundary of this home...

Does this same rule apply to you, your daughter, son? Do you expect them to not share what is bothering them? 

 

When you tell my husband to not be around me. That he should be a family man... And that HE should focus on people in his family, duties, cousins, and everything that qualifies as his "Real family".

Why do you then plan/encourage your son. in law to spend time with your daughter... Why do you want them to "have good trips", "unwind because life is so tough otherwise", "exchange love and compassion" for each other... Why does it make you happy... Why does your daughter deserve love after leaving her home and being all alone there and I don't deserve it?

 

When something is bought for me by my husband, he has to hear a lot of things... He has to compensate for doing things for others so that  "he does more for family principle remain"... Also "spending on wife as an outsider and wasting money is not ok"

Why does then when it feels good when your daughter gets gifts or is given rights and share in her new household?

Why does it make you angry when your daughter says someone spoke to her badly in her husband's home and why is it ok for you to continue being sarcastic towards me or shaming me...

 

This hypocrisy must end. I have been through so much pain due to these double standards, this hypocrisy and I cannot take it anymore...

I understand your son is precious to you but so is everyone's son and also daughter precious to them... If you didn't want your son to give anyone else the love or attention, there should have been no marriage... You can't deny a woman her right like this...

I was so depressed due to rules that were different for me, adjustments of lack of love and isolation asked from me, taunts and words only said to me...

I had to be in therapy at IWill as I was losing myself to pain, to hopelessness, to hypocrisy...

Therapy at IWill helped me focus on self, to say the right thing, to assert, to not feel unlucky because someone else chose to treat me bad, to persevere for self despite bad treatment from others.

My husband too joined IWill Therapy and finally HE COULD SEE THAT RULES WERE ONLY DIFFERENT FOR US AND IT WAS NOT FAIR ON HIM OR ME... EVEN HE DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE STRESSED OUT AND ALWAYS BE CAUTIOUS TO LOVE HIS OWN WIFE... HE TOO DESERVES BETTER THAN THIS JUDGEMENT! 

I have read many blogs at IWill and today I wanted to share my story too...

If you are struggling with a similar situation where you are paying the price of hypocrisy, consider seeking therapy and help, consider standing up for yourself... You deserve to be happy 

Shruti Aggarwal 

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