IWill 2022-11-09 02:07 - 2 minute read

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Depression and self doubt broke me everyday. I would just hate on myself and it was toxic 

IWill blogs

You are a failure.

Don't even try talking, you have nothing that's worthy of being listened to.

What would you do going to that function? Do you have energy? Do you think you can even get ready? Do you think you can enjoy there?

You should leave that job, just write you are unwell. Don't even try.

Don't meet anyone. You can't. You just are in no mood. You shouldn't even talk to them

This was my brain with depression. So many things had happened, that I was convinced that I was the problem. The worst problem with having depression was that it made me hate myself, it made me low, it made me feel like I was some burden on myself.

People around me also couldn't help me much, they would blame me for 'being sad', 'for not trying enough', 'for being problematic'.


I was just losing all my faith in me, all my confidence. I would only feel that worst would happen to me... depression made me develop a very toxic relationship with myself.

And this led in complete destruction of my usual life, I wouldn't go out, I wouldn't take care of my health, I wouldn't feel happy with myself and this was constant and the worst pain.

I joined IWill therapy and it was here that the first thing therapist worked eighme was on to find that love, respect, perspective for myself.

She helped me appreciate all that I did for myself, all that I went through and still stood strong. She helped me see how I was enough, how things went wrong because I was in emotional pain, I needed to heal myself, not curse myself.

She helped me see all things good in me, work to take care of myself, heal myself and assert for self. Not accept emotional pain but assert to alleviate it, no matter who the source of this pain was.

She helped me find confidence, love and self strength. She helped me find the belief in self and then I started working on asserting, on facing the world, standing for myself.

Today I am working again, with happiness. Today I don't break myself, don't blame self for other's misbehavior, don't curse myself for breaking in pain that wasn't my fault.

Finding respect back for me has helped heal me.

Depression attacks your sense of self and that is the worst pain. I am glad I could find it back. Don't let depression drown you and make you harm your own self. Take help, speak about it, overcome but never let it  break you.

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