Depression breaks everything within you and worse pain is sometimes people hurt you further in that phase 

IWill blogs

I had such high hopes of my life, I was the happiest person around. I always laughed and smiled. My parents loved me a lot and I has great friends.

But somethings happened in my life and things started changing. I fell in love with a person who had a very conservative family. He was the only son of the family and everyone was so dependent on him.

The moment everyone realised that their son had someone in his life now, they started brainwashing him.

That I was control freak, I was childish, that my happiness was my selfishness, that he wasn't a man enough he would always be around me. 

I started losing my happiness as I really loved him a lot. He would ignore me. He would say things that would clearly reflect were not his words. I would be asked to do things that are too conservative and make me feel like less of a person.

Post marriage these issues only increased.

Every morning I would miss my mother's walking in my room and asking me for food.

My father loving me and in this house, people only bothered about what I did for them, telling me to always prove myself, be alone and isolated. 

I was only treated as though I was here to serve everyone's needs. 

I was getting depressed each day. I was shocked how my partner didn't support me..

And worse was when my tears would be seen as drama, my need for affection and asking for help would be called as manipulation.

I never thought what depression would feel like but now I knew what if felt.

 

It is a darkspace where you felt locked and unheard.

It feels like you need to escape but you don't know where to escape and how.

It feels like you are unloved and that no one cares.

It feels like all is over for you and you don't matter.

 

I stopped taking care of myself. I stopped caring for my work..I would just whole day think about how I mean nothing to my husband and how isolated I was.

I was devastated with my mental health. I joined IWill therapy on recommendation of my friend..therapist at IWill helped me so much emotionally. She helped me realise my complete potential, assert, say no to things I didn't agree with and stand for myself.

She also started couple therapy for my husband and helped him realise that how lonely I was, how his role in my life was to give love and not turn love away. That I was here in his life trusting on him. That he couldn't ignore me because others were insecure. That I was an equal and that i was dominating him, rather I was being his wife.

 

My husband started to realize how he had really compromised on our beautiful relationship. How I had suffered so much depression because of the isolation and unhappiness.

My husband completely changed through therapy. He spends time with me. He knows i am his responsibility and he is mine... I have started going back to work. I don't let anyone hurt me anymore, nor I am less than anyone.

Depression had broken me and the worst pain was that I was isolated further. Glad I took help at the right time and everything changed for me.