IWill

IWill 2022-06-20 11:24 - 2 minute read

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Depression had made me frozen in time. I kept losing my life and time just kept passing!

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Depression is a disorder that broke my life. Every day I would make plans to have a different life, to struggle, to achieve, to do big and good, and everyday depression, its pain, hollowness, emptiness, and inability to think clearly or feel good would come in the way! 

I had been through many tough things in life, bad relationships, a struggling career, financial issues, and health issues. It was like a vicious cycle that just made things worse for me in all directions. 

I would feel I could come out. I would make plans but then low mood, disbelief in myself, and inability to do anything would stop me. My days, months, and years passed... and my life looked completely frozen!

I was now 37. I didn’t have my own home. I didn’t have a good relationship. I had a career but didn’t have one that I would be proud of... I didn’t have happiness. I felt like I was leading an empty, dragged, unhappy life... 

It was depression... I would feel like also giving up on my life. 

No one would understand me... everyone would blame me for my condition and I would be helpless... 

Depression had frozen me in time. I was left so far behind that I had no hope left. Everyone was so way ahead of me ... 

I started IWill therapy only because one day I was so broken that I needed someone to talk to... the therapist at IWill in this one session listened to me and gave me hope that my life could be better.. she gave me hope that I could have many things even today, that the freeze could break and that I could make myself proud!

I had to choose myself above the pain. Something in me moved that day and I decided to seek help.

Through the course of therapy, my therapist helped me prioritize and do better. She helped me break my behavioral patterns! She helped me break my resistance and inertia... 

she helped me feel good about myself. She helped me assert... I started taking small but consistent steps to change my life! And I did change it... things did get better... 

 

Today I have a good job... each day I wake up, I wake up with a plan and most importantly I execute it. I do things that make me happier... I don’t look at myself as a loser. I don’t look at my life as a race with others..

I see my life as time with myself!

Depression’s frozen pain is gone! What I have today is my hopes and dreams for happiness! 

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