Depression is not just an illness. It’s an internal war that you fight against yourself each day and the pain is unreal

IWill blogs

The depression i faced because of this was severe even in clinical terms. I am glad this changed for me but for many it never changes!

 

Whenever I wake up after preparing my mind all night that i will work, my own mind would speak to me in the morning, YOU CANT DO ANYTHING TODAY. JUST LIE DOWN!

I would make a plan for work and with full vigor. And then my mind would say that I Have always been defeated. I will not win this time too.

I would plan and want to spend time with people and friends and the same mind would say ISOLATE YOURSELF. YOU HAVE NO ENERGY TO MEET ANYONE. AND YOU MUST NOT MEET THEM!

I would want to feel good about myself. But my mind would make me PITY MYSELF!

MY MIND would only show me how bad things were when i wanted to focus on what good i have in my life.

My mind would only create images of loss, of pain for me even when I was sleeping

Ofcourse I had my share of problems.

I had faced health issues. I had faced parent’s health issues. I HAD faced denial.

I had faced rejections and insults and people who doubted me were all around me...

I wasn’t always like that. Something changed in me that started altering my self concept!

Something changed in me that started speaking it’s own painful language.

Like my mind was at war with me, with other sidI was beyond sad.e of my mind

I was beyond low.

I was beyond sad.

I was beyond broken.

I was beyond lonely

I was recommended IWill by my spouse . I didn’t want to even seek therapy as that was a task for me. But I joined therapy after some resistance.

It was in therapy that my iwill therapist helped me see how much good I had achieved in life. I had done a lot.

She helped me make small goals and helped me achieve them.

She would speak positive affirmations to me and also helped me learn the art of consciously giving yourself positive affirmations.

If I missed doing some care activity for myself, she helped me not feel bad with it but see the growth I was making

She asked me to only connect with people who gave me positive feedback, cared for me and provided me a way forward in life.

She helped me find ways to do small things for myself

And instilled a lot of hope in me.

I was also working to appreciate myself, to be there navigating life when bad things were happening to me.

The negative voice of pain is starting to fade. The negative voice of hurt is going away. I have recently STARTED A FULL TIME JOB AND THIS IS A BIG WIN FOR ME!

Depression is really an isolating issue. But I am so glad I found help!

Thanks to IWill!

If you are dealing with pain, a life that feels stuck, or one where you are not able to be your best version, if there is discord and hurt and pain in relationships thats breaking you, seek IWill therapy., Sessions are online and with the best and most empathic and experienced therapists in India. For booking and starting your sessions, download the app from link below and start therapy journey today