Divorce Depression is a reality . I faced it

IWill blogs

My State After Divorce

Divorce was one of the most painful things that happened to me. 

Getting away from a man and a life that I had believed would now be forever, completely made shits in my reality! 

Leaving behind all the dreams of a shared life where most of me was invested in!

Getting away from a relationship that almost was my biggest identity once it was formed. 

Being around people and the world who now don't see me as the same person, or someone they even know!

Losing hopes and dreams of life, certainty, and what will come next.

Even when the relationship was weak, feeling a loss of support and like now I would have no one who would protect me.

How Our Marriage Failed?

I had never thought it would come to this. 

But in this marriage, love was over, care was over.

Everything good was over. And I kept trying to make it work, to bring life back to this lifeless marriage, to ensure there was care, there was faith and connection, there was an ability to move past differences to see a life together but it couldn't happen! 

The marriage couldn't be saved as we didn't align anymore on anything, neither what we wanted in life, how we saw each other, and our future! 

Divorce RELATED depression

Divorce happened but so did depression happen to me. I felt like my life was over. Not just a part of me, but me as I KNEW her had gone missing! 

My world became smaller and smaller as I didn't feel like meeting anyone, anymore. 

I didn't feel like going out as almost all places reminded me of our relationship and its good and bad things.

I didn't feel like going to work either as my mind was constantly either in guilt, in pain, in restlessness, or in an emptiness of all that had happened.

Talking to others was tough as everyone WOULD SAY THAT I HAD WANTED IT FOR MYSELF and so now I had to learn to adjust to it.

My sleep was gone. My happiness was missing. My self-concept had become alien to me. What I wanted now wasn't clear. Was I good or bad? This question would plague me all the time. Whether I had done the right thing by divorcing wasn't something that I was clear on.

Depression due to divorce and complete inability at least for me to plan my next steps and life next was a reality for me.

OVERCOMING DEPRESSION

I knew I needed help and probably I had done it late for it. I should have ideally sought therapy when all of this was happening, to prepare myself for this. Nevertheless, I needed help now. I joined IWill therapy and I was diagnosed with Severe Depression. 

It was my IWill therapist that helped me see that life was not just possible, but beautifully possible for me. She helped me see that things break, that even our most precious loved ones do leave this world. 

She helped me see that divorce happened because life, love, and happiness had gone missing and that I had every chance to create it now. I wasn't wrong to end something that didn't work. I couldn't blame myself for making a decision for myself. Now I need to stand up for myself and make it right!
 

She helped me first reconnect with my social circle. especially friends who had always been there, supportive family members.

Next, she asked me what did I always want in life, what were my ambitions, and what were the things I wanted for myself, WITH THAT GOAL LIST, she asked me to set up a realistic plan and started helping me through motivational therapy to help achieve it. 

She helped me restart my work life, helped me focus on my looks, my goals, and life and also helped me slowly unlearn the GUILT.

She helped me see that I wasn't really wrong to move out of the marriage, that there are no morals attached when the happiness fades away for both. She helped me realise that even my husband now has a chance to make good for himself.

IWill Therapy helped me. It helped me find answers to the WHYS and Whats and helped me focus on HOWs too!
 

I am now back to work, aiming to soon open my business. I am looking better than ever, traveling and exploring life and also I am journalling and spending time with spirituality to heal myself!

Depression that I was facing is now not there. I see hope in me. I see how my husband will also have a better shot at his opportunities and also how whatever happened between us, I have truly forgotten and forgiven.!

 

Divorce is one of the toughest phases and I am glad I took help at the right time. If you know someone going through divorce or has been divorced, encourage them to seek professional support and help. They definitely will heal, cope and feel BETTER!

Srijita Chatterjee

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