Divorce gave me a second chance to life. I needed the strength to be on my own and its working

IWill blogs

You should stay with him. We won't and can't support you and what after we are not there. No sibling will be do anything for you.

Right now all these serials and movies make divorce look normal but it is not. People change. Your partner will change too.

It's a big mistake to even think like that. Marriage is not a joke. You just can't break it.

Yet it was breaking me each day. 

He would be at his job and weekends leave to be with his family.

He wanted me to do everything he thought was right, o emotional connection, 0 conversation, 0 empathy.

I felt invisible and ignored and lost in this relationship.

Not having someone in your life is better than having someone for name sake who is never there, always has prioritiies of which you are not a part. This is belittling, insulting and humiliating.

He never shares anything with you and if you ask for love. It turns into a fight, more toxicity, more ignorance, more isolation and it goes on.

You try everything and it goes on.

You ensure that you take care, give love and affection and yet it goes on.

You are unable to be happy, not wanting to do anything because such an important part of your relationship is there but never to be there.

I had decided, I was weak, I was alone and unsupported at this time, but I had one life roo, and 7 years of it were wasted, being in home, where we there is no love, I am alone and life has no meaning.

I needed strength to take a step, to become ready, to be ok with taking a decision alone if need be.

I joined IWill therapy and shared all I had gone through.

My IWill therapist respected me and my emotions, never told me what was I expected to do, but asked and understood my pain and what I needed to have.

She encouraged me to first focus on having a career. It was important that I learnt to be independent, that I heal, that I become part of social activities that make me feel relevant and important, that make me feel like I am worth it.

Therapy at IWill helped me to recognise the good in me, the value and power in me and therapy helped me to take steps to heal, to be self assured, to find happiness and validation within myself.

It wasn't easy by any means but atleast I had a goal, something that was in my control. Therapy at IWill helped me to focus on self, to lead a life from here on for me.

And when I was ready, I decided to quit, quit this non existent relationship.

I had a job by now, not so well paying but highly rewarding and uplifting and also one where I felt valued.

I also had friends who would visit me, spend time with me.

I rented a small place.

Most importantly I had myself back.

I have myself back and now I have the confidence of doing it for me, whether friends are there or not, family supports or not, I will support and do this and be successful for me.

I won't be in a relationship just because it's society telling me to be in it.

Society isn't crying on my behalf.

Society isn't alone when battling a fever even when you have a spouse.

Society isn't facing the neglect and emotional pain on my behalf.

So Society shouldn't be Making decisions for me.

I am still in IWilll therapy and I am looking forward to be on my own again. To be allowed a life where I have the control, atleast a second chance where the steering wheel and the care is both mine and me.