Divorce is better than staying in a marriage where your emotions die every day 

IWill blogs

My partner and I had drifted emotionally

We both shared our happiness and sadness with friends and when we were together, there would only be fights. 

We both had no empathy left for each other's pain... And we would use each other's weaknesses in our fights.

We were hurting each other's self-concept on daily basis. Remarks and projections of our own failures and feelings on the person in front of us were breaking us! 

 

Our marriage like most relationships started on a high note. 

There was love, there was passion, there was longing and there was spark. 

But as soon as we got married, different life expectations and different life goals started to appear as problems

I wanted love, to be with my partner, and to have a work-life balance. My partner used to think these were signs of people who had no interest in the career. He would not spend time with me and get angry and upset that I was wasting his time and mine. 

His family was too conservative and believed that anyone who treated his wife better as a husband was a failed son and one who was weak. They would always keep him away from me... They would create problems and hurt and disrespect... 

Somehow with a lot of crying and a lot of trying for years, our relationship became stable.... We became like a normal couple. 

Somehow the marriage at the time with a lot of fear of abandonment and fear of being left alone didn't break.

As years passed by, our marriage however started becoming like just being there for each other as a normal family. The intense fights we had, had broken our normal and routine conversation... 

We couldn't resolve one conflict.

We couldn't plan family expenses. We didn't agree on one thing. And yet when it came to escaping, when it came to just not talking about what's important and somehow being happy, we had learned that.... 

It was a marriage that didn't have a lot of bitterness. It in fact also had fun... But it was a marriage where we were not letting each other grow or progress, where basic respect for each other had gone missing... 

We were stuck in time... We were not letting each other be happy, or be our true selves!

After a lot of crying and hurt and disturbance, we mutually decided to part ways... But this was tough... We had everything together. The faulty, toxic patterns of existing had become our habit! 

So we decided to join IWill therapy, to be able to work through this.

Our therapist at IWill helped us both heal, both find a way to see the good in us, to decide to part ways that's respectful, but also be able to handle our emotions, to be able to lead a happy life.

Seeking therapy was one of the most liberating experiences at this time. All the fear I had was gone... All the hurt that was there was processed and there was only peace.

Of course, there was sadness. But it was natural. It wasn't crippling us...

Many around us, including our modern friends, felt that this divorce was unnecessary! But we knew what we had lost and how difficult our lives had been since the first day...

And we both wanted to lead our life with full potential and not hurt each other for 10 more years, destroying both of our choices to become happy and lead a life that fulfilled us both! 

Sharmishta Mukherjee 

If you are dealing with pain, a life that feels stuck, or one where you are not able to be your best version, if there is discord and hurt and pain in relationships thats breaking you, seek IWill therapy., Sessions are online and with the best and most empathic and experienced therapists in India. For booking and starting your sessions, download the app from link below and start therapy journey today