Don’t wait for miracles or someone else to change. Be your own hero today. Please

IWill blogs

I have transformed myself completely.

I am doing so well in my career, earning money and taking care of myself.
I  laugh, I would eat my favorite food! And people who wanted to see me cry BURN! 
I would travel and make plans that made me happy!
I would live for myself each day!
I would every day challenge my self-doubt!
Every day I would bury my inertia and the pain that stopped me!
Every day I would fight my critics, people who said things to me, I would fight their voices, see them thriving, being sarcastic to me, and yet I would continue my journey and not cry, sulk, hurt myself anymore...


This transformation has taken the effort of me

A commitment to heal and rise above my trauma! A commitment to come to terms with the reality that no hero is going to come and change things for me miraculously! No one will change in my present life to undo all my pain.

Acceptance that those who backstabbed me will remain the same, had come in me!

 No matter how good I am, no matter how hurt my soul is, no matter what happens to them, they won’t realize and change themselves!

Acceptance that this pain will grow if I sit, and waste my time. I will be angrier with myself with each passing day, more disappointed, and yet I would be wanting others to change and do good for me!

All of this acceptance, this change, this strength came when I healed myself! When I worked on my mental health when I decided to take charge away from toxic people and gave it back to me. This happened because I took intensive therapy at IWill. I had almost passed a decade crying and doing things but largely staying sad... and how I wish I could have done this earlier!!

I had suffered a lot. A bad toxic relationship where I was no one. My self-esteem was broken each day. I stopped seeing myself in good light... I saw only flaws in me. I was surrounded by people who were so selfish that they would do everything to protect their happiness even if it caused me tremendous sadness!

I was with people who constantly would manipulate, gaslight, act like they are my well-wishers one day, and then attack me and make me feel completely useless! 

And I would want them to change, to see to realize!

For a miracle to happen and lessen my pain... 

 

But none happened... 

Every day I would cry, some days would be better but then most days would suck! 

No one helped me ... No one wanted to I guess! My pain made many happy, who had unnecessarily seen me as an enemy when I was just myself

 

I had to put abuse in its place.

I had to put myself first!

I had to undo the hurt, and trauma and believe that I will do and do things for myself!

 

I am glad I took help!

Today my haters are still here.... watching...I love to just think how much power I have now and how they must feel every day seeing me rise when they had tried to destroy me!

If you are struggling like me, don’t wait, don’t cry a day more, seek help today. You need acceptance, you need handholding, and you need someone to guide you take those steps for yourself and take them continuously without falling short! 

 

You deserve a shot at life!

Don’t cry even for a day more!

Don’t endlessly let days and months pass!

Your life, your goals, and your happiness is waiting for you to take the steps!

Don’t let toxicity win!