Dont break your own people in Family politics 

IWill user

Families are supposed to be great places. Places where we get support, love, warmth, closure, concern, and friendships that are true. 

But sometimes families become a place of politics, of using one to belittle other, of comparing one person to others, to form groups, to be hurtful to someone who is already hurting, to see family member just as someone who is there to fulfill your needs and doesn’t have any life of own.

Sometimes families like this can become a source of self-doubt, humiliation, artificially set in guilt, of chronic pain. 

And this is what is hurtful. 

 

Signs that there is family politics 

1. Open comparisons or importance basis who earns more 

2. Using one person’s behavior to make someone else feel small or less committed 

3. Try and have unequal rules and hold people accountable for these 

4. Always attack or insult one person to make someone else feel more secure and inflated

5. Fill someone’s ear against others just to have more emotional power and control 

6. Treating people like outsiders within a family set up 

 

When this happens, someone who is on the receiving end of all this can feel emotionally triggered, feel isolated, feel very insulted, feel guilt groped, and even have resentment and a need to “show others” they are worthy too. But rather than causing motivation, it causes self-doubt!

It’s important to recognize that this is a hurtful pattern! And it’s important to recognize that this is much more to do with a PROBLEMATIC family dynamic than anything that is got to do with you! 

It’s important to recognize that if it’s hurting, there is a need to disengage, focus on self, heal, set boundaries, assert and not let the politics continue! 

It’s important to not compete to show them or to get in their game! Or else you would be always unhappy, always feeling inadequate! 

Seek therapy today if you have been hurt, if you are holding on to too much self-doubt, if your family’s lack of visible pride in you, is breaking you. You need to manage your emotional health and mental health! You need to be focussing on being enough for you! Being secure with everything that makes you uniquely your own person! 

You are enough! And you will be enough too!