Emotional neglect after marriage by husband for a wife is the worst pain ever

IWill

I was facing Emotional pain after marriage.

My husband would always be comparing me to someone or the other, sometimes on my work, sometimes on how I look, sometimes on how I spend time with his family vs how other daughter in laws do it,

I was never enough for him.

I was always made to feel less. My pain of proving myself to him, would keep rising

 He would also always ignore my plans for other things, especially when it came to things regarding his work, friends and family

He would keep me as his last and when I tried to confront it due to pain, he would blame me for doing drama or for making his mood off

I was always alone, hurt, compared, made to feel like I was the problem and something or the other was wrong always with me.

His family wouldn't be happy with me and this too would be my mistake, my fault, if I kept my own needs, I wasn't being a good daughter in law. I had to always think of others and do for others.

I was invisible. I was ignored. I was unloved. I was always at fault according to him

 I was going through a lot of emotional abuse where my emotions meant nothing to anyone

In my home, I would never be made to feel like I was wrong or not enough. I would always be given priority but here I didn't matter

My emotions were broken each day and the pain would be much more than any physical hurt that I had ever been in

I would feel like something within me was breaking each time

I was so lonely, I was so hurt. I was living in this home for love and attention and yearning for it and getting completely restless and pained not getting it

Not knowing who should I go to, with so much hurt and wanting love, I joined IWill therapy. I was screened initially online and results showed I was going through severe depression... This was confirmed when I had first session with my therapist at IWill, online

Emotional neglect had created depression in me. It had taken a form of abuse where I was denied basic love, appreciation

In therapy, therapist first helped me not blame myself and not see this as something wrong with me or my love. Next she helped me to find support in friends and family and work. She helped me see that emotional neglect was taking a toll on me

And I needed to address that as a problem and not to wait for others to change because of pain I was experiencing

She also helped me to find focus back on my work, my growth, my personal ambitions in life

She also helped me learn to be assertive, to ask and say what was right, this was my life and being so ignored and neglected, I couldn't live happily.

As things got better, she asked me to ask my husband to come for couple therapy at IWill

Because situation had to change for me, the neglect had to go. He joined couple therapy and our therapist helped him to see how would it feel if he was subjected to such neglect. He wasn't different than me. I too had emotions. Just because I was a woman, didn't mean my emotional needs were non existent.

She helped him see how would it feel if he had to wait for someone's basic affection, how isolated I was at his home where nothing happened according to me and no one loved me here

He started changing, seeing the things in a different light. But I would say it's still a long way to go. For me the important thing that has happened, I don't accept emotional neglect given to me anymore. I stand up for myself.

I ensure that I am around people who genuinely love me and take care of me.

I am not meant to take emotional neglect and break myself!  I mean the world too. And may happiness is my priority.