IWill 2021-02-12 10:11 - 2 minute read

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Everyone got ahead of me, not because I was bad, but because situations were bad

iWIll user

I feel like a loser today
I feel discriminated against!
I feel being given a raw deal...

Life in every measure was going much slower for me...

Not well ahead in my career and people could see it!
Not well ahead in my personal life and people could see it!
Not well ahead in my social life. I keep hiding and people could see it!

I wasn’t a problem! I wasn’t less talented... I wasn’t a bad partner... I wasn’t a bad friend! I just had too much bad happening with me and throwing me off, letting others move ahead while I just sit there and burn myself in the guilt of not being able to make it on anything!

Right from relationship issues, health to family brawled in legal things, to a toxic environment, I braved it all but kept losing the part of me that dreamt, that could move!
People who hurt me or people who were less talented all kept exceeding my boundaries until a point where I was so left behind that I had no scope!

I really wanted to give up. I wanted to hide and never face anyone... everyone who hated me, ditched me, I thought would be happiest... I was the sinking ship... I felt bad for people who stayed back for me, who were there...

I joined IWill therapy just to speak all my hurt out, I wanted to somehow at least feel that someone gets me and my pain...

It was in therapy that I could slowly learn that I didn’t have to be ashamed of my journey yes I had more scars but that’s the courage... I am still there standing... therapist helped me work on my guilt, on this feeling that I was lucky, and replace it with a belief in me that no matter what I will make it!

Slowly through therapy, I started seeing how all was not lost... how I couldn’t let failures or the present that came because of issues of the past, to create more issues that would then create failures of the future! I had to break this cycle and I had to break it now with the help of a therapist, with the right actions with no comparisons, with no faint heart, and with full empathy for self

I started my life with my broken pieces from the point where I was...

And today I am inching back to victory, slower than I would have thought...still with the scars of pain... but not worn out, defeated, or completely LOST

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