IWill

IWill 2022-01-08 03:31 - 2 minute read

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Expectations are only from daughter inlaw. At least in my case 

Rashi Singhal

You should call us... That is your duty... 
You should understand others' emotions... She is his sister. And she is going through a tough phase... So what if she said something to you. It's your responsibility to keep everyone happy...
You should say sorry and end this.. Don't think whose fault is this.


You should not speak back... She can say things but don't speak back... You should know your boundaries & "kya Shobha deta hai tumhe".

So what if she never returns your wish... She is your bua saas... You should message her always.

You should cook at least one meal a day for the whole family... So what if you have full-time work too. That is your choice but "Ghar ki grahini" tum hi rahogi and this can't change.

 

This was me.. Completely tired because of these expectations that were only from me.

This expectation that I am supposed to take others' egos was only from me...

 

I was supposed to be "happy", "quiet" when others take potshots at me.

I was supposed to be "ok" with others expecting only me to be unfair.

I was expected to tolerate, to leave all my equality behind 

I was expected to just take the abuse, to still be happy, serve and make this my life...

 

But this was causing a lot of mental, emotional, and happiness issues for me...

I didn't want to meet anyone...I wasn't excited for my life anymore... I felt discriminated and hence something within me would keep hurting all the time. 

 

I joined IWILL THERAPY because I felt the need to know what to do, I was too lonely, too unhappy and my parents, etc no one I could talk to without getting into fights or misunderstandings.

I needed someone who can just LISTEN TO ME WITHOUT IMMEDIATELY SUGGESTING ME THINGS OR BLAMING ME THINGS... I knew this SITUATION HAD NO QUICK FIX.

 

It was in IWill therapy that my therapist helped me learn assertion, just allowed me to speak and speak and that allowed me to come to a point where I felt at least heard after a long time...

She helped me prioritize myself. She helped me say NO to things that broke my esteem, show those a mirror who were being unfair and prejudiced, and speak and communicate with those who were not doing the right thing...

Through therapy I healed my broken self, I learned to stand up,

I learned to assert and communicate, and also later my partner joined too and could see how I was cornered all this while and how this needed to change... 

Therapy helped me a lot. I expect from myself to stand so that I am not the only one FULFFILING EXPECTATIONS AT THE COST OF MY SELF RESPECT AND MY MENTAL HEALTH 

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