IWill

IWill 2021-08-21 10:30 - 4 minute read

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From a divorced jobless woman to owning home & being happy, have come long way.

Shalini Girdhar

My husband one day met me randomly somewhere. He exchanged a look at me and said hi... if I had been the old Shalini, I would have not responded. I would have felt angry or ashamed.

But today was different. I was much stronger and so I responded and asked for his well-being..
He looked at me with some surprise.

I had much firmer eyes, smile on my face, I was probably best dressed in decades and I looked like I was someone... he asked me “so how are you, what you are doing these days”

I responded that I had started with a job and had launched a side business.. that it took time and effort but now it was working...

He then asked me if I was stil living at my parents...to this I told, that I don’t live wth parents but I have Bought my own house...
He looked shocked... but I didn’t care...
He looked upset and he abruptly ended the conversation left!

As he left, I felt a strange sense of ease, comfort. The strength that I was someone who had made it. The ease that today rather than breaking down, I held on... that I had achieved a lot and that he witnessed it...

I was so proud of my growth.. I had started iwill therapy sessions after divorce and all I felt was deep insecurity... I had been through toxic pain... I had only cried... I had only been self doubting... therapy helped me learn to dream once again, to believe I could do it and help me create my reality.
To not let repeat happen of things that toxic people subjected me to be!

o not let this be the end of my spirits, of my life...that husband and marriage were the means to my happiness and my growth but if that’s out. That doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to be happy, to grow... life had to offer me all that o desired and I had to create it... 

It was hard to overcome self-doubt, to start from scratch, to keep pain aside, to overcome “the feeling of not wanting to do anything”. It was hard to love myself again, not be guilty, accept the reality and not being in denial! 

But therapy helped a lot... it helped me focus on the ring thing for me while managing MG emotions, my pain, and channelizing my energy not in fear but in trying! 

And today this hopeless, crying,  begging person has a job, has progress, has just bought a home! 

And today I look good, I take care of myself.. 

I laugh a lot... I watch comedies and I spend my life in the balance of action and fun! 

My husband was shocked to see me but I am glad he did... it made me feel accomplished and made me feel, my success was the reply to how weak and useless his abuse was.. he didn’t break me... rather it made me strong 

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