IWill 2022-09-08 11:37 - 4 minute read

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Getting into a wrong marriage and not able to even leave, makes me anxious and alone every day

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Another morning I wake up with extreme anxiety, anxiety that my husband will have no time for me. Anxiety that he would even today makes me feel secondary, less in comparison to others.

Everyday i had the anxiety of again having a fight, or feeling ignored, of feeling left out.

Everyday I had the anxiety of being part in a situation that is against my value system, that makes me feel less or disconnected.

I was living in fear, in anxiety, I was stuck in a relationship that I chose, because it looked so great and turned out to be one, where I was up against a family and system, up against a conservative mindset that wanted to feel good at my tears.

I had never expected that my husband would treat me this poorly.

I had never expected that he would fall for this manipulation and make me so vulnerable

I had committed all my love to my husband, my life, my dreams and I was stuck.

I couldn't imagine a life without him and this life was miserable. 

I felt let down but didn't know what to do.

I had no control on my situation, I had no control on changing the circumstances around this.



I was so anxious, so heartbroken, so upset, so not me.

I had recurrent suicidal thoughts, I had a strong need to escape, I wanted to get stronger emotionally to be able to think a future for myself.


I decided to join IWill therapy. I decided to atleast seek some help. And it was here that i learnt to assert for myself.

She helped me gain the strength to see my value as person. I wasn't someone's wife alone. I was a woman who had dreams, life, aspirations.


She helped me learn to stay calm, to not take several steps ahead of me, to first make my present better.


She helped me see the power I had.

She helped me speak against abuse and not do things I didn't like 

She helped me not measure my self worth basis these comparison. It showed their weakness as opposed to mine.

Today I am not anxious, i have asked my husband to male a choice, I am not ready to be in a marriage that has no meaning, where there is isolation, anxiety and pain.

Marriage is companionship, marriage is comfort, marriage is your safe place. And if this can't be that, i don't want to be a burden on him, nor take the weight of this dead relationship.

He and i are joining couple therapy and that's the chance we have. But I am approaching this not with fear, but calmness.

I trust the process and i am not worried of the outcome.

I am focusing on self. I am focusing on self growth, i am doing great things, I am healing, I am giving myself the nourishment.

Ladies or anyone never settle for Anxiety, you have one life and you deserve better. Seek, therapy, seek help but never give up on yourself.

No one should have this power. No one!

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