IWill 2021-04-05 02:06 - 4 minute read

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How I stood against a narcissist for myself

Sunitha Sangini

Narcissists can ruin your life! Mine was ruined too!

I faced everything because I was up against a narcissist!

She was jealous of me so she ensured that those who I love, isolate me! Everything was used to enable that. Drama, attention, lies, manipulation, painting my Normal behavior as problematic, making me look like some evil who has come to take their space.

She was so hurtful to me that every small loss or failure I had, she would repeat many times in front of me, comparing me to people to bring in extreme self-confidence issues and anxiety in me! So much so that I felt like a hurt ball all the time!

She would insult everything related to me, make subtle fun of my parents and their habits, in a “nice” way ofcourse, make fun of my friends, people who I loved... I was being made to feel ashamed of my associations and life!

I became devastated! Felt like my life’s remote control was in someone’s hand! I had lost track of my goals, I would just cry, just fight or plead for things to change, just feel so drained and warned off and basically a helpless actor in the narcissist’s plot!

I was recommended Iwill therapy by a close friend going through a similar situation! I didn’t feel anything could save me from this shit life I had now because of this individual! But glad I WAS proven wrong!

Once I understood this was narcissism, once I could see how others too were in a way in the abuse cycle and hence acting like that, it hurt me less!

Second, she helped me completely learn to stop caring of what she thinks or speaks of me, she helped me set a boundary, assert and even let her know when she had said or done something that was inappropriate! I couldn’t be scared of her drama! When the drama happened, I would still maintain my stance!

She helped my loved one to join therapy and see how much hurt was being given to me, because of this isolation. I wasn’t wrong, I was being bullied! She helped him see how things that were made to look abnormal of me, were infact great things! I was simply a young girl with dreams, ambitions; love and a smile! How could that be WRONG?

She also helped me stand for my respect and of my loved ones, also she asked me to maintain my distance so that the narcissist has less fuel to attack me, less information that they can use to break me!

She also helped me focus on my goals and my career, shine and bother the narcissist not in fights but in success of my results and life!

Today the narcissist tries a lot and fails!

Their words have no impact on me!
My boundaries are so strong they don’t get away hurting me!
My loved one is aware that I need love and respect!
I have my distance from them and I have asserted and let everyone know that this is how it’s going to be!

I can’t be tolerating someone’s narcissism
While it’s ruining me!
I was broken completely and that’s how their abuse is, but I am glad I am out with the therapeutic support by iwill and as importantly, my determination to do what is right too!


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