IWill 2021-10-31 12:00 - 4 minute read

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How to move on from your past setbacks to truly build a life that you want 

IWill blogs


A failed marriage, a tough career, a lot of emotional abuse, losing a loved one, a huge setback at a time when you were least expecting it, no matter what is the nature of setback one has faced, the common factor and truth remains that it causes deep-seated hurt, sometimes an existential crisis of sorts, and numbing pain and unsettlement! 

Sometimes of course it becomes very difficult to overcome this trauma and setbacks cause a lot of almost permanent inertia and inability to do what is best for self, inability to be happy or achieve and do things in life that one wants to!

This article focuses on what can be done if someone is struggling with trauma due to setbacks!



1. Removing the self-doubt and painful deep assumptions about life 

Failures happen, bad things happen but what should not be allowed to live within you is self-doubt, a fear, a feeling that you don't deserve good, that no matter what you do, good will not happen to you. These negative assumptions about self and life drain energy and make taking the right steps in a progressive direction very hard. After all, if you don't believe good will happen to you or that you can change your life, what's the point of even trying?


It will take extra effort to understand, identify, challenge, and change these assumptions. You will have to nurture yourself, develop empathy, take the right steps, and doing this alone can be very hard sometimes. That is why therapy too can help a lot especially when it's becoming exceedingly tough for you to feel good about yourself or life and the pain of trauma is not letting you move on.


2.  Reduce the exhaustion 


Trauma leads to a complete drain-up of energy. A person can feel extremely fatigued and completely broken in spirits. What is needed here is to do constructive daily timed activities to reduce this exhaustion. Taking care of yourself, spending time in relaxation, healing yourself but doing so that it leads to real healing is most important. The important thing here is to avoid activities that may offer just the bare minimum distraction but never heal or replenish your broken self.  These will cause more harm than less! 


3. Take action 

The best way to reduce further trauma and setbacks is to act. Use that energy to do the right thing now. Find someone who would support you through this. The more you don't address what needs to be, whether it's your broken self-esteem or a career that needs your attention, the worse it will get! Take charge of your life! Take those tough steps today! 


4.  Believe 

No matter how bad past was, no matter how much you struggled, you have to start your new day as DAY 0. You have to believe, do everything to strengthen that belief. Talk to people who uplift you, remind yourself of the times you won, remind yourself of the steps you took then, heal in therapy, do everything you can but you need to get rid of the hopelessness, and replace it with a belief that things will work out! 


Start therapy at IWill, if you find yourself just sitting, getting anxious or hurt but not being able to take charge of your life, if you feel you need an external miracle to help you get out of this, reach out! You need to heal your emotions, you need to challenge your assumptions about yourself, you need self-love, you need care! Setbacks don't define you. You have to build a life that YOU WANT! AND YOU WILL 


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