IWill 2021-07-14 10:47 - 6 minute read

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How to rebuild trust as a person who has only seen pain?

IWill expert

It’s very easy to tell someone to fight on, it will get better, things will improve to a person who has even when struggled, seen things happening, good happening, life-changing...

But what if the person is like me? And there are many like me?

I have seen the worst of life... life has given me a lot of pain, each time I have tried to cling to Hope.
I have lost a loved one to a tough fight with health at an age they shouldn’t have gone!
I have seen my career dying because of bullying at work and my inability to adjust to it..
I have seen relationship issues have faced isolation and pain, something I was never used to!
I have seen small things going wrong the moment I try to do something good or break from the spell of this pain!

And so telling me stories of faith, asking me to work on my panic wasn’t obviously working. But the thing is should I have accepted that I am unlucky and sulk all my life, should I have let myself be crumbled by panic and depression, as life showed no mercy so should I have allowed myself to disintegrate further.

While the answer to me 9 months ago looked like, even if I try, it will be the same, but the difference was I decided to still try. Try to learn to fight this, be positive despite the lack of faith that had crept my life completely!

I joined iwill therapy... I wanted to speak my emotions out. I knew that my mind just feels now, it doesn’t think, doesn’t act, it just feels or may be just remains sad or cluttered...

Therapy helped me unbox my emotions, feel like someone at least is listening to me at the start. The therapist helped me to start looking at my life, experiences in it as a wider lens,  some experiences were really bad but some were good and each time the bad ones changed into good, were because I persevered!

She helped me see in some moments, how I let my fear control me and let go of happiness, in some others I allowed abuse to happen, I didn’t speak, didn’t act...

As I looked at my life book, of course, there were instances that were irreversible, hard pain, but many others happened because I wasn’t prepared, I let fear govern, I didn't prioritize myself, I didn’t prioritize my happiness, true long-lasting happiness...

So for building trust in life, I first needed to build my trust in myself... I needed to stand with myself... I had betrayed myself for small impulses, ignored myself for others for opinions, for fears...

Next, I needed to build a support system. People who I could trust to speak to. I had so much loneliness in me... I had alienated the good people in my life due to small differences... I needed them back and i needed to have support, empathy, someone to speak to, people to lean on to!

Also with therapy, I started bringing these changes to real life...learn strategies to not let the past haunt my future, false patterns of belief hold me alarmed and frozen... I learned to work to train my brain and keep its logical and rational side working...

It’s been 9 months in therapy and I have started to trust my life... I have learned to be truly in the driving seat, to be aware of how my actions impact my life, how respect, work,  destiny are things I can control, I can and have to work towards it...

Life has started giving good results to touch Wood! I work hard for my happiness, I don’t give into my own impulses, my own bad habits, my own actions that were setting me up for pain...
You can learn to trust your life again, by learning to manage yourself better... please start therapy... I would have never believed it or said it myself had I not seen my life-changing ... because therapy helped me change...

I say every day I Will!

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