How toxic people are making you self-doubt and manipulate your reality?
A lot of people in IWill therapy say
"But we are going through tough times, we are not doing great. Its a problem in me, the person who is making me self doubt is actually only pointing to that what is really wrong with me
AND this is how in therapy we help clear their doubt.
Let us share a few examples of how no matter bad a situation a person is in, words matter!
How people treat one another and make them feel matters!
1. Someone faced a setback
Toxic: Oh I feel so sorry. Work didn't happen? Even after you trying? Oh, why? I was seeing other people are getting it. You are no less wonder why it doesn't happen for you? You know X person got this done. I feel bad for you. Don't worry. Things will work out
Non-toxic: We all face a setback. You worked hard. It will happen again. Keep trying. Have faith. Now let's eat some food, let's go out for a walk. I am here for you
2. So a person had lost a lot of money in Business. Surely a bad situation and things needed to change for them radically to be able to do good.
Now see how two different people would say the same thing, one who has toxic influence and another who doesn't!
Toxic: You always do this. You just don't do things in the right way. I am so tired of you. Look at others, where they have reached. Look at how much they have achieved. You know people talk about you in comparison with others! It's really painful. Do you know where did he reach? He has 3 homes already!
Nontoxic: You tried really hard. Let me know how to help you. Let's find out a way to be out of this. You must do everything to be out. Yes the problem is big and it's also causing us issues, but we have to see how things were not great for you too, you need to just focus on what needs to be done and I know you can turn around this!
3. Someone couldn't cook a great meal and things turned somewhat bad
Toxic: It was so embarrassing. You should have told me earlier only that you cant do this. People were making fun of this. What would they think? X cooked so good food. Y did this and that. Only I have to suffer because you never are there
Nontoxic: It's ok, you tried your best. Everyone saw your effort. You went out of the way. Don't feel bad, no one makes perfect food but the effort counts and everyone would have loved how much you took care of.
4. A person was crying because she was spoken badly to and she was feeling hurt
Toxic: Again you would cry now and now it's the end of the discussion. You do this to basically win. You are so dramatic. It's so difficult to even talk to you. You are so weak and really over the top
Non-Toxic: I am sure it has been hurtful. Let's talk about something else. I think we are not able to explain this to each other. I love you and that's what matters or I CARE FOR YOU...
Did you see how toxic people act? How their words are hurtful. How do you know they are toxic and want to hurt and break your self-confidence. Everyone goes through bad experiences, it doesn't make you bad or weak! Toxic people will be manipulating YOUR REALITY! You deserve better. Helping you see things need to change vs harming and hurting you are two different patterns...
Seek therapy at IWill if you have self-doubt, depressive mood and if you have been tired and self-limiting due to toxic abuse!