Husband realised that If I talk or treat my inlaws the way they do, no one will TOLERATE for a day!

IWill blogs

My husband and I were in couple therapy. I had been in so much pain and frustration with the way I was treated. 

It was our 5th session and it was role play week.

The role play week was all about making at least my partner see from my perspective what all I had been through and if the same was done to others, how would it feel.

He was talking to his mother. And when he stopped.

I said, "what was mummy talking to you about so early in the morning. She is always around you".

He felt so angry and said, why would you say this? And I replied remember we are role-playing and I am just repeating things said about me and to me.. 

He became quiet.

 

The next day, his sister asked for some money.

And I didn't want to say this.

But I was reminded that I had asked for some money and when he had given me that, in front of me only, it was said that my husband was responsible for so many things. And that he should be careful with his money and wasteful spending.

I was so taken aback and heartbroken then. I just said what if i today said something similar. How would you feel?

He was going with his mother to her friends. I reminded him how every time, I want him to meet my friends, I am reminded of how busy my husband is, how he has his own friends, and how i should not try to control him.

And I reminded him with an example, that your mom wants you to meet her friends as she feels happy. It was the same for me.

 

I reminded him when he was eating while sitting in the living room, how I had been stopped for that too.

His sister laughed and everyone was happy. I reminded if I say now to his sister, to not laugh out loud as it's uncultured for her, how would that feel.

In the next session,

In therapy when HE shared that in fact when he sees now from a broader perspective, things done and said to me were obnoxious, I couldn't hold back my tears. I said I have been through worse.

Remarks on my clothes, my laugh, my work, my need to feel connected, and perhaps even my existence. What i went through for his love, his family wont go through it for an hour.

My husband has felt extremely sorry ever since. He continues to understand me better and change and stop now his family from breaking me. I am glad therapy at IWill and its sessions and our therapist helped me and my husband in changing our life, remove the hurt and guilt and overcome