IWill 2021-07-07 01:05 - 2 minute read

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Husband’s attention on me doesn’t define my worth. I understood it..

iwill user

Gone are the days when I would break myself emotionally thinking I am nothing basis

What time my husband gave me ?
How he treated me compared to others ?
How much care or real concern he showered on me ?
How much did he stand up for me?
Did he notice when others treated me bad?

I would break myself whole day because the Man I trusted my life with, was ignoring me.
He was busy pleasing others in his family who were insecure, who wanted to ensure I was isolated so that they could keep control.
He was always more concerned about what people thought as opposed to what I felt as a wife, what love I needed. 


I was just so heartbroken, my self worth had left me... I felt miserable. My job, my looks, my being, my life all looked so secondary, so irrelevant... 


I joined iwill therapy because I wanted my husband to love me, take care of me, be for me, or else how was I supposed to feel I had any worth... 


The therapist at iwill helped me see two things separately.


1. Being treated with love and as a wife was my right

2. Measuring my self worth basis how my husband acted due to his family dynamics was wrong. 


Just because he had an insecure family and he himself wasn’t clear on how to place his wife and at what pedestal, I couldn’t be feeling so low about myself and my worth. 


I had a job. People loved me. I had a life and it was not ok for me to completely reduce my individuality for this. 


It’s not ok for me to measure my self esteem basis how controlled my husband is... 

slowly I started gaining my self respect back in therapy... focusing on myself again, not sitting there and waiting like a selfless and lifeless person just craving for some bread crumbs attention for my husband...


Therapy helped me see that I didn’t have to give myself more pain as it was already sufficient by others... I stopped caring... I started having my own life, working hard, feeling good wth friends, meeting and being with my parents... 


My husband noticing changes in me, started paying attention... he joined therapy and understood how he was being so UNFAIR to me.. he was being completely oblivious of his responsibilities towards me... he was being ignorant... he changed through the course of therapy... our relationship changed ... 


But one thing that changed within me was to measure my self worth from people who are insecure of me... or even anyone as close to me... 


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