IWill

IWill 2021-09-13 05:17 - 2 minute read

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Hypocrisy that people who want you to adjust never understand you

IWill blogs

After my marriage, I was asked to adjust at every step of the way, to everything that others wanted. To everything that others said! 

The best part is those who want you to adjust are the ones who are capable of least adjusting themselves!

By the people who ask me to not spend time with my husband, are failing to adjust to the fact that their son has wife now!
The man who wanted me to adjust to the home and not change things in the home even when I wanted to do this to feel a part, is the same man who would scream even if his one file goes missing!
The people who ask me to be happy with other’s happiness, cannot tolerate a word or dialogue about my family! Their faces change; they can’t listen. They don’t want to listen!
The people who want me to forget my parents for marriage are forcing their son to isolate his own wife in marriage and also taking all the love from their daughter who is married!
The people who want me to not speak for a word when someone taunts, saying it’s respect; don’t know how to respect and stop assaulting me!

It’s sad how one’s need for you to adjust is only to ensure they don’t have to adjust a dime bit! Their life remains as they want it!

I was tired of how hollow their lectures looked. How selfish their ways and wicked all this looked? The anger was breaking me and I would be blamed for it!

I was in therapy at IWill to heal my pain, to get stronger, to find a way to lessen my pain because adjusting to all that I was asked to, was so hurtful, was breaking me! And finally, I stood up.
I learnt to prioritise myself
I learnt to say no to being treated like I was an educated maid or a doll with no heart
I refused to be ok with my wishes, dreams being denied in the name of not in our culture!
I refused to be bullied to not give back to my parents or stand with them!
I refused to be treated secondary by my husband

I refused to take adjustments anymore alone, the burden of breaking me and only me! 

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