Manjula Shukla
I don't know but somehow my behavior started changing.
I would remind him of what all I did for him and he has forgotten me.
That he spends more time with her and I feel lonely and now feel my old life will be bad.
That I don't like how his wife is and would have been happier if he allowed me to make that choice for him.
That he was ignoring me because I was old and not as "fun or lively" but I was his mother and had sacrificed everything to raise him up...
I COULD see his marriage was ruined... And yet it kept going on...
I still was in this delusion that this is the best because I couldn't see anything beyond my emotional discomfort coming with the thought of having him love someone else more than me...
One day I overheard that they were in IWill therapy... They were having sessions here... And my daughter-in-law was depressed... I felt really bad that day... I am not a bad human... I was just insecure...
I too joined IWill therapy, just to see how I can lessen my pain... I was paired to quiet a senior female therapist, must be 60+ years of ages and I thought she would definitely feel like me... But what she shared and helped me see in sessions was eye-opening...
She helped me see how in reality that this short-term attachment was drifting my son and his wife away from me for life.
She helped me see how much my son needs his wife right now and she needs him and I need both of them as a unit.
She helped me SEE THAT I TOO CAN HAVE AND MUST HAVE A LIFE OF MY OWN.
I needed to live for myself, be strong, and happy... and have my own circle... I wasn't over yet...
Sessions with my senior therapist at IWill were therapeutic and gave me a different perspective not just on how I should be with my son but also how should I be with me...
I have found myself and the strength that I don't need to be insecure... I have love, care of my children... And I need to also have a life of my own...
If you are engaging in guilt-tripping your children, if you feel tough to let them move on, if there is drama happening in the family, STOP and seek help!