I am going into 2024 without my husband and without toxic abuse. And I am glad!

IWill blogs

10 years of marriage ended this year.

I am not crying in corner feeling sad about what happened 

I have a son and I was worried so much about his future but I am not scared anymore 

I was scared of leading a single life, leaving my old life alone, being lonely in functions when everyone is with couples. I am not anymore

I was depressed for longest period.

I was the only one pulling the weight of my marriage.

My husband had friends, family, sometimes his ego would make him leave a job and then he would blame me for all his life's problems

But I kept putting it up with all of it, for those rare moments when he cared, for those moments when he loved me, for that fear of what of my son, what of me.

I was alone, lonely, rejected, a single mother and a baggage of pretending I had the best married life when I was dying inside each day.

He would be on his phone all day, no intimacy, no connection, no time or voice for me. 

I joined IWill therapy because I needed to heal. My therapist at IWill helped me see how much I could be.

She encouraged me to work, to dress up, to experience joy, to stand up, to live one life that I am given too. 

 

She also helped me confront the reality that it takes two to work out a relationship and my husband had to play an active role.

She helped me cry, cry, break and heal and finally find the courage to say yes to my dreams.

She helped me speak to my husband, assert and ask and when it became clear that he will never be there in this relationship, 

I decided I had support, I had it in me.

I had to call off the facade.

And I decided to move 

I filed a divorce.

It wasn't easy but I was working on myself.

I had an honest yet respectful conversation with my son, I didn't want him to not have his father's love and didn't want to spoil his childhood.

My therapist helped a lot at IWill at every step of the way.

Today as I enter in 2024,

I have a job, I have something to look forward to, rebuilding the 42 year old Sakshi again.

I have dreams, I have support and most of all I don't have baggage of lies, of trauma, of pretensions, of fear.

It's all me, it's all real and I am ready.

 

Love you IWill. You saved me. You literally DID

 

Sakshi Sharma