IWill

IWill 2022-09-19 12:44 - 4 minute read

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I am mother of my new born child, not nanny. I have rights on my baby. I won't be treated anymore like this 

IWill blogs

Why is the baby crying, as a mother you need to be more careful.

This is our baby, looks exactly like Saurabh. He is our everything, he will sleep, stay and be with his grand parents.

You should not focus on your tasks right now, how is that our baby didn't sleep during the day, be a more responsible mother.The baby is our everything, we have got our child. He will grow up and become to have same values like us. 

The name will be kept by Bua. She has that right.

If you have to go your parents, go alone, we won't let our grandson leave us. 

This was the way my in-laws were treating me after I became a mother.

Like this child was only born through me but not connected to me, like I was there just to take care of the child. And that is my duty and for that I will be judged but when it comes to right on my baby, i had none.

This when they never let go of their own son's control. As a mother she had to be worshipped by her son. But as a mother I wasn't any more than my nanny.

If my son did something good, it was because of father side and his family.

If their was some issue, it was me.

I didn't like this toxic environment at all, and I needed escape. But I didn't even know what to do. I felt lonely and completely stuck.

 

I joined IWill therapy, and it was in therapy that my counselor, understood me for this. She said yes it was taking toll on me and it wasn't ok, it wasn't fair.

She helped me assert and start saying that my husband needed to give as much care, that it was his responsibility.

I also started speaking for my right on my baby, not being scared of the behavior and say the right thing.

My husband initially was not able to understand my perspective, but as I got better and better emotionally and as I asserted my point of view and things from my perspective, he started paying attention.

Somehow he got convinced to join therapy at IWill with me. It was here that he could see how much I was in pain, how would it feel if he was attacked like this or constantly made to feel that this is not his baby. Or that he is here just to do things for him but not have any right on him.

 

Now through therapy, I started taking people less seriously.

If someone would say how baby would go, I would say baby needs me and I need my parents and hence I am going and my parents have as much right to love their grand kids.

I would now not listen things on my parenting, rather I would say others should give me space as mother knows best.

And I would ask for feedback and help.

 

I decided not to be taken for granted as a mother any longer and this changed everything. Throigh therapy, I overcame the hurt, the pain of their hypocrisy and got the strength to stand for self and continue doing this.

I am not nanny of my child. I am his mother and I need that space and respect. Period 

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