IWill 2022-08-01 10:53 - 2 minute read

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I am so confident in front of those who love me and so slow and almost numb in front of people who dislike me. Is it only me?

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Wow Surbhi, you write so good, you are really intelligent so proud of you.

Wow, you dance so well and love your energy.

You are so fun to be with, in your company no one get feel bored.


And for the same me,

Surabhi, why aren't you able to do this small thing there, what's happening?

She never comes and meets people. She is so reserved. She never looks happy.

She has no energy, her mood is always off.


This was the same me and observations about me. And no, these were not wrong observations.


This is how i was in exactly two different settings.

And I was really almost dumb, unhappy, reserved with some people and happy, almost able to do anything, feel so intelligent in the other one.


And this was something there with me, I was almost catching vibe and people who disliked me, I couldn't perform, be happy, be myself when around them.

Losing my ability and personality because of someone else's behavior was so strange and yet so depressing. 

I was losing my individuality and myself.


And it was frustrating as even at work place for people who didn't trust me, rather than proving them wrong, I would end up feeling slower, demotivated and unable to perform.


I was losing and I was unhappy, I was unable to do what I needed to do and this was frustrating me. How am I becoming what other people think I am, I would think.


I started IWill therapy and it was here that I understood what was happening,


I was sensitive to how others felt about me and I very quickly lose the confidence and the ability to be myself, because others don't validate or necessarily don't want me happy.

My therapist at IWill helped me learn to ignore how others perceive me and derive my value from there.

She also asked me to form both real and mental boundaries and not affected by what people think of me, not play it in my mind, not let them say things and disrupt my peace.

Worrying what they think about me, will only hurt me more and in process make me less able to maintain my vibe.

She helped me a lot and now i don't let myself catch these painful, ugly vibes, I don't give them the mental attention.


Now I am happy no matter who is around.

Now I am excelling and being my best. No matter who is watching.

Now I am smiling. No matter who is feeling bad.

Now I am speaking, no matter who is interested.


I am glad I took therapy.. therapy at IWill helped me to be myself, not what others want me to be or think I am.

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