I wanted to spend some good time so me and my child, we went for a holiday,
I did things I never did, staying in local communities, going for pottery, staying in a desert and enjoying a dance. I didn't feel alone, I didn't feel unhappy. I was liberated.
I needed money so i set a goal and decided I will earn it and chase it, I will make myself debt free.
I will have financial freedom, and will take care of my child and I am on that path of it.
Infact I was in an abusive relationship with no job, with money that was borrowed, for anything I did I would listen how irresponsible I was, I was a single parent because my partner was absent from parenting.
My job was to be an assistant in someone's life with no priority of my own life.
My job was to be just not be there as Swati but as someone who they wanted, a person to serve, a woman to take anger out on, or just a show piece, a furniture who looks good but no one talks to.
I don't have a job. I have a child. We need families. I will die alone and old. I had pain, depression, unsurmountable suffering but no light that I could see.
I joined IWill therapy on a friend's suggestion who could see i was suffering from depression.
My therapist at iwill helped me see everything I wanted to do was doable.
I could have a job.
I could have happiness.
She helped me first start learning to accept myself again, my wishes again. I had a life ahead of me
I had to chose between Real SWATI or Shadow, almost dead Swati. And I chose real one.
Today Swati is writing this, teary eyed as a proud mother and a proud individual and I am not alone, I have me.