I dealt with chronic sadness and thoughts that I shouldn’t even live. This is how I overcame them

A. Rana

I woke up in the morning feeling completely depleted. It was like I wanted to cry so much. I didn’t want to sit, I wanted to lie down... the pain, the hurt, the loss of my life were breaking me...

The difference is that it was not just one day but nearly every day of my life these days...

I had been through many tough times, and some decisions I took worked against me. Some people I trusted didn’t love me back the way I loved them.
I was ignored by them. My health deteroriated. When after years of pain, I tried getting back to work, things didn’t work out the way I expected...

I faced setback after setback with small happiness here and there...

I was depleted... I felt exhausted... I felt like there is only struggle and no win, no comfort.

I dealt with chronic sadness, upset, and eventually thoughts that questioned my existence...
who was I alive for?
What will I get?
What’s the point?
I have to end this pain!

These thoughts and chronic sadness both were breaking me to the point of my life having turned meaningless.

I joined IWill therapy on the recommendation of my friend...

My therapist first listened to me, every single hurt, every single thing that I had lost.... therapist comforted me... empathized, and didn’t judge me...

She then helped me look at my life differently... I deserved to live... just because others hurt me, just because I didn’t get the success that I wanted till now, didn’t mean I couldn’t get it .... She helped me assert, speak for myself, she helped me to learn how to stop this volcano of thoughts in my mind and focus on my life today...
I uplifted my soul... I realized I don’t have to end up because of people and instances... I had resilience...

IWill therapist helped me to make small changes in my life, just 3 hours to myself in a day and life started changing for me...
She helped me wake up not with guilt, with pain but with goals and dreams... I still had a lot of fire in me...

6 months into healing and therapy and my work on myself, I have started excelling in my career, not validating my self-worth basis people around me, but the inherent worth that I had...

I have excelled so much, taken such good care of my health, ignored toxic people completely, and also stopped getting affected by others.. life completely has changed for me.. I don’t wake up scared and wanting to sleep back again into idleness... I don’t miss my goals... I don’t want to die...
I want to fight for myself, live, and be happy...
my whole perspective and the associated pain have changed...

Depression is a disorder that sets in due to life challenges many times. But you don’t have to sacrifice yourself. Heal, treat. Believe. And get going...

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