IWill

IWill 2022-08-03 03:24 - 4 minute read

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I didn't raise my daughter to be a slave or maid after marriage. We are not living in medivial times

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I am so shocked at the expectation all of you have of my daughter after marriage, the girl who is as educated and in the same college as her husband. 

You want her to cook meals first thing in morning when she has to reach for work, she gets no help, it's only her who needs to do this.

Why do you think it's my daughter's job alone. This impacts her health, it also makes her feel like she is alone when it comes to expectation of service. She doesn't feel integrated or a part of the home. Even today I stand with my wife in the kitchen , even if all I do is cut salad, the fact I am there helping my wife out, is what she needs, the fact that she is doing this for her home, not because she is a help in her own home.

My daughter should have no voice of her own, she should ask permissions for everything even to laugh, say or express herself. 

She should not come to us as this is a sign of her ignoring her household now, when she is ignored on a daily basis alone and no one comes to her.

She should not spend time with her husband because well that's the family's right and she is an outsider right?

This is unacceptable. I have not raised my daughter to be a maid or a slave , with life that is dependent on others, to work and have no support, to always be treated like she is less.

Being maid is nothing to be ashamed of but even home helps in your home are made to feel valued for work they do but not my daughter.

I raised her to be an equal, she studied engineering, she had her individuality, we valued her and loved her and wanted her to share her worthy opinions and make our life even better.

I didn't raise her to be maid or slave, or someone whose role is just to please others and assist. 

Marriage is an equal partnership, she should be treated like a daughter, she gets tired, she gets hurt, this is her home not her toxic workplace.

Denial of love breaks her.

She has been in IWill therapy and she wanted to give up on herself, she felt so abused and cornered all her sense of self was devastated. But it was in IWill therapy that she learned to assert, to be herself again, to spend time with friends and feel better.

But I have decided to speak about this. We are not living in medivial times. We are living today where daughter and son are alike, where daughter is not made to feel like her wishes don't matter.

Don't make her feel like she is there to serve you because she is not. I will stand for her and not allow her life to be destroyed because of this narrow and old thinking 

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