IWill 2021-09-23 05:17 - 2 minute read

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I don’t want to be in the good books of toxic people at my mental health’s cost!

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I knew they were toxic to me from day one! My mind was in denial. But my heart knew all along!

The first time I met them, they weren’t happy seeing me! There was discomfort on their face but they had to pretend to be happy, to be warm to me! I thought it takes time for people to connect with each other. And May be it’s that!

But no... they were never happy if I succeeded. They were not happy when I was praised! They were not happy when I got affection!

They would constantly compare me with others!
Empathy was simply missing!
I was always attacked and yet I was expected to be always there!

No love was shown towards me!

It was always sarcasm. Passive-aggressive behavior, Denial of respect.

And yet I was at their beck and call. Because I was supposed to be good, because they were manipulative and praise me and be good to me in front of people!

Their behavior was impacting my mental health, it had already impacted it! It had put me in depression!

I joined IWill therapy... I joined because my self-esteem was broken...

it was in therapy that my therapist helped me step by step to assert for self, to stand up for myself, to not feel bad because someone else doesn’t give me validation!

She helped me find a way to take care of myself! Also that it was ok to choose my mental health! That it was ok to not be worried about what others think and prioritize myself!

That it was not ok for me to be so pained! And also she helped me focus on my goals, my happiness, my career despite my issues!

I am glad I finally have a career, a smile, I don’t judge myself and don’t break myself basis how toxic people perceive me!

I am glad to have prioritized my mental health! I am glad to have chosen myself and my happiness! Over and above toxicity! Over and above judgment! 

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