I don't listen a word against my wife from my sister, mother or anyone in my family anymore

IWill blogs

Why do you always buy things for your wife ? She earns herself?

You are my sister. You too have a job. Why do I buy things for you? My wife is my equal partner. When I earn, spending for her gives me more motivation to do better, to be a better man. She has the maximum right on what I do and I don't have to ask you or anyone else?

Now when your wife said no to your own mom for attending that function, you won't say anything to her. She is above your own mom now?

This is not about being above and below. If my priorities can be respected, hers too should be... she has work and she isn't comfortable being there especially when I am not even there with her. I won't pick up fights with my wife for she simply chose to state her wish.

You are going out with her again. You have changed so much. You have completely forgotten my mom!

She has left her home, her parents not here with her. I will ensure my wife is well looked after. She gets to see people who love her and who she loves. 

I have changed because I was supposed to change. I got married. I haven't forgotten anyone. You have forgotten I am married.

 

Why is she sitting on your front seat?

Who else is supposed to sit there? I like her next to me. I feel happy driving her around. She is my life partner after all.

Why are you so wanting her to start her career?

She has to take care of this home.

We have to take care of this home. It's not hers alone. She is an engineer like me and is very ambitious. That's what a true partner does right? Support his family.  

This was me, Amit Tandon, finally standing up for my wife, doing the right thing, making sure she gets the love and happiness she deserves, making sure she is not being targeted or I am ignoring her.

 

All of this was norm a few months ago. I would ignore her out of others pressure. We would fight. I would get manipulated that her expectation of time from me somewhere comes from not letting me be the son or a family man.

And I saw her breaking..a part of me was unhappy too the way things were unfolding but I didn't know the right thing to do.

Someone suggested us both couple therapy at IWill and it was here that both I could understand how much wrong I was doing to my wife just out of pressure, insecurity and jealousy.

And I was enabling her abuse.

My iwill therapist helped me see what was wrong in spending time with her, wasn't this the expectation?

What was wrong in doing things for her, wasn't she expected to do things for me.

What was wrong in being there for her, wasn't she there for me.

My therapist helped me see how much my wife had suffered because of this, how much she had been in pain and how isolated and down I had made her feel.

For everyone else she might be wrongfully a competition but for me she was my partner. Companion who we both had to protect and build each other up. Many sessions and many discussions and much time spent on understanding things from her perspective, finally I got the insight, courage snd the right answer to stand up and I did.

And from that point on, me and my wife just had happiness, love and I didn't let anyone come between us. I pamperr like the queen she deserves to be and I am glad things are all so good between us.

I am glad no one can finally manipulate me. 

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