I have just become someone who is here to do things for people.
I need to cook in time so that everyone gets food.
I need to not go outside that much. Kids are habitual of having their mother mind!
My health and my complains for that don’t resonate. Because according to kids and family I am always complaining of something or the other! When someone else my husband or family member is unwell, everyone takes it too seriously!
I am easily spoken to in a rude tone. I am the last one to get empathy or respect!
I felt uncared for due to all this. I felt like just being there for doing things for my kids, husband. I felt no one cared for me, my health, my needs, my emotions! Everyone took me so for granted! I didn’t want to do this anymore.
I would cry several times. I would feel left out. I would have this strong need to “prove” to my family that I was worthy! This need of empathy for me!!!
But nothing happened. I joined iwill therapy on suggestion of my friend... it was in therapy that I cried my heart out. She understood my pain. The grief of doing everything but still being invisible!
She helped me create boundaries! She helped me say no to everything everyone just demanded. She took me to that zone of my mind that used to think about myself.
I started saying NO
I started stopping for my body!
I started going to my friends and having my me time!
I started speaking my mind!
At 48, I started putting my self goals at the top too!
Everyone was selfishly attacking me initially . But that stopped to bother! I had allowed them to take me this granted! I had allowed them to see me as though I had no identity!
And I am never going to reinforce that belief now! I will not be at the mercy of anyone’s behavior now!