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IWill 2021-12-30 09:22 - 2 minute read

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I finally got the courage to show abusive people their place

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How dare you speak back to her like that?

She can comment on how bad I look, how less I am capable, how there were so many better people, how she is great. She can insult me day in and day out... But I can't ask her to stop? I can't ask her that no, it's not ok and I will not take my abuse... And you are telling me...Well, I don't care... I am not scared and I won't take the abuse anymore!

 

I don't care what you need... It doesn't matter...

 

But I care what I need... And it does matter to me... I am not comfortable going at. a place where there is no respect for me... I am not ok going there just to listen to sarcastic remarks, "taanas" and being poked at for their amusement and fun... My self-respect is most important.

 

I won't be able to come with you...

That you have never done anyways.. But I will go... Anyways being here in this place, I usually feel only lonely... 

 

Your salary is only this much... Why are you working so much then and for what... People earn more than this by just sitting home..

My work is precious for me... And I don't need certificates from you, how good or bad it is... If you can't appreciate me, thats fine.. You have no right to bring me down...

 

I won't be here this weekend...

Good, I too have to go out with my folks...

This was me and finally, I had developed the strength to give back and not take emotional abuse, not feel less about myself, not feel hurt all the time for not being treated well!

I had learned to stop my tears and take charge of my life, my dreams, not be fearful of what if I stand up for myself and people would abandon me..

I didn't feel like if someone leaves me, my life will be over and so in that fear continue taking abuse to keep toxic relationships, bonds, going....

 

I had been in IWill therapy for more than a year... I had been through a lot of toxic emotional abuse where I was 

1. devalued 2. Discriminated 3. Discouraged 4. Neglected...

And I wanted somehow magically people to change with who I was stuck... it was through therapy that I learned to love myself, put my respect first, and believe that no relationship was worth the abuse and toxicity...

I am glad I am my own person now... With the ability to stand for the self, saying no to abuse, and being strong, to even go alone if needed, I have come a long way...

 

Remember its not love or a good relationship if you are suffering in it and being abused, neglected, and expected to suffer endlessly 

S. Shivaramkrishna

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